Vomitting Blood

“I think if I have another boy, I will vomit blood.”

Famous last words of a friend of mine who uttered them when she only had one son. Not long after, she was pregnant with another boy but has since moved overseas and I haven’t had a chance to ask her if she needs a blood transfusion.

My husband and I had a good laugh over that quote. Until, of course, our son was about 18 months old and I was pregnant again. Then the thought hit us: What if we have another boy? Will we be vomiting blood too?

I went for monthly pregnancy check-ups. In the 5th month of pregnancy, I went to see my regular gynaecologist and she did the ultrasound scan. Almost immediately she asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. Since this was a regular ultrasound scan (as opposed to the 3- or 4-D scan which is more accurate) I knew then that it was a boy.

On my way home I sent an SMS to my husband. (Note: You know how it is when it’s not the first born. The first pregnancy usually sees the husband at every check up and even takes leave for each month’s immunization after the baby is born. Second child onwards – you’re on own, babe.)

The SMS read “Time to vomit blood. Just did ultrasound scan. Baby healthy, everything ok. ”

He knew what it meant and he was so sweet to reply “Hooray! Smooch!” even though I knew he really wanted a girl this time around. In fact, he had wanted a girl even during our first pregnancy. I think most daddies want a little girl.

What surprised me, however, was the reaction I got from many people when they found out I was going to have another boy.

“It’s ok, you’re still young, you can have some more. Try for a girl.” (This one was most common.)

“So are you done having children or are you going to keep trying until you have a girl?” (I’m sorry, are we at the slot machine? Keep putting coins in until you hit the jackpot?”

“Oh… (Insert sad face here) That’s ok… (Patting my shoulder as if my cat had died)”

In all honesty, I was happy. And I’m sure I would have been just as happy if she said I was going to have a baby girl. (I used to think that you can never be 100% sure it’s a girl because it could either be a girl or it could be a very shy boy. However, I have been told that these new sophisticated ultrasound machines can project very clear, um, pictures.) To me, it doesn’t matter whether it was a boy or a girl, so long as the baby is healthy and sempurna or “complete”, i.e. no missing limbs or other signs of physical disability.

So after a quick 1.5 hours of labour, we greeted our second son. How different he was from his Abang! More mellow, less crying, more sleep, less spit ups. Plus Adik had to be re-admitted for jaundice when he was 4 days old, which his older brother never had.

Now, 1 year later, they’re still as different as night and day although my husband and I are getting used to things getting broken by both of them and not just by our older son. I’ve forgotten at what age Abang started to climb furniture, stairs, etc, but it really surprised me when, at 9 months old, I saw his younger brother pull himself to a standing position using the sofa and then proceed to try climbing it! My mother witnessed that too and she said, “Boys…”

Even though Adik walks and even runs really fast now, Abang is still faster. The most often used phrases in our house now are “Abang! Get off! Don’t sit on Adik.” and “Abang! Don’t push Adik!”

Currently Abang, who is 3 years old, is bigger than the Adik but everyone’s prediction is: Not for long. Adik has a much better appetite than Abang (even when Adik is ill, he eats like normal) and probably once Adik learns to defend himself, watch out Abang!

Little people attempting to climb everything (not just furniture), rough play and boisterous behaviour have become a part of our household for the past couple of years already and we are so used to it that even if we do have a girl next, she’d probably master the art of climbing faster than her brothers and maybe even teach her brothers the “proper” way to fight back and defend oneself.

After all, she will have 2 wonderful teachers to guide her.