Managing Expectations

Anybody who is a consultant, or was one, or married to one, or has worked with one, would understand the importance of managing expectations. It’s always good to get others slowly used to a new idea, especially if it’s something that they may not like.

We like that concept a lot and use it at home too. For example, if Abang is nicely playing at my mother-in-law’s house and we need to go soon, we tell him that we’ll be going in about 10 minutes. (Yes, it takes us about that long to get everybody packed up and into the car.) Then 5 minutes later, we give him a 5 minute time check. That way it’s not a total surprise to him when we get him into the car and say goodbye to everyone.

The concept is a bit lost on Adik, though. But then he’s only 13months old, so it will probably take another year or so before he gets it. Right now, he’s the one managing our expectations. Can’t get what I want? I shall arch my back and scream! You want to try and carry me? Hah! I’ll lift up my arms so you have no grip!

I guess Adik’s definition of managing expectations is more like “When I want something, I expect to get it." Otherwise, I shall flail my arms and throw the remote control to the floor!

Oh well, he’ll soon learn.

Abang, too, has learnt to manage our expectations. This past weekend he has stuck to my father like glue. My parents are here for the weekend and Abang has had a ball of a time, staying at their house since I picked him up from kindergarten on Friday. So he wanted to have a sleep over at his Atok’s house on Friday night.

“Dad, I want to sleep at Atok’s house tonight,” was his opening line when his Daddy came home from work on Friday evening.

“Ok.”

10 minutes later, he reminded me about it. “Mom, tonight I sleep at Atok’s house, you know.”

“Ok Abang. Do you have your overnight bag ready?”

Later, we went out for dinner with my parents and when we were all done and ready to go home, everybody saying goodbye to each other, Abang said, “Ok bye Daddy! I’m sleeping at Atok’s house tonight! See you tomorrow!”

And, just in case Mummy didn’t hear it, “Bye Mom. Abang big boy already, I can sleep at Atok’s house. I see you tomorrow, ok? ”

Yup, I think he managed our expectations quite well on that issue.