And Now, The Things Adults Say

I used to think that lying to children was just plain mean. They’re so trusting, so gullible, so ... innocent. How could adults take advantage of that?

Well, easy. I have 2 words for you: It Works.

Let me set a scene for you. You are at the airport pushing your 15-month-old son in his stroller. For reasons unknown to mankind, he starts to fuss and insists on getting out because he wants to push the stroller. You know he will start pushing it into other people, making you to take away his fun and in the end causing you to have to carry him screaming and push an empty stroller. What do you do?

(a) Oblige

(b) Stay firm and keep repeating "No" to him as he tantrums while strapped in his stroller making it impossible to push without other people thinking you are a heartless parent who doesn't care that her son is having a seizure, or

(c) Quickly whisper to him in a conspiratory voice that the airport "security guard" (more like immigration officer on a break) who happens to be walking in your direction is about to tell you that "all little boys have to sit in their stroller" otherwise he will be "very angry".

All experienced parents would choose the answer (c). The stern looking uniform is usually enough to make young children do as they’re told. (The attached picture was taken before I became “an experienced parent”, when I thought it was actually cute that Abang was pushing his stroller around like a drunk driver.)

Of course some lies are quite extreme. My auntie was fond of telling Abang that if he doesn’t finish his food the policemen will come and arrest him. Using the police to scare him really backfired when my parents’ house was broken into and we were the ones who discovered it. When I told Abang that I’d called the police and we had to wait for them, he started to cry!

Ok, time to look for another bogeyman.

The next one was the “orang banci”. Yes, those poor unsuspecting census board folks who go door to door (come rain or shine) to get information from each household. I think my auntie was upset with them once for ringing the doorbell when Abang was asleep in the lounge and causing him to wake up.

If he’s kicking up a fuss not wanting to shower, she’ll say, “Quick, quick, better go shower now otherwise the ‘orang banci’ will come and ask whether you have showered or not.”

Woosh! Off he goes to shower. See? Told you it works!

Daddy has fun with this one. He likes telling Abang, “Don’t tell fibs or else the ‘orang banci’ will come and get you.”

Oh, the irony of it all!