The Road to Independence … or is it?

With Abang away at Ant J’s house for most of the weekend from Thursday through to Sunday, Adik was thoroughly enjoying pure, unadulterated 100% attention from his parents. Just like Abang was enjoying pure, unadulterated 100% attention from Ant J and Nenek. This had positive spillover effects of bringing out very good behaviour in both of them.

I even managed to “teach” Adik to feed himself with a spoon. I say “teach” because he actually doesn’t need much teaching. His fine motor skills are, well, fine. The other day I gave him a plastic spoon to play with and in the other hand he had a cookie. On his own, he proceeded to sit on the children’s chair at the children’s table, put the cookie on the table and attempt to spoonfeed himself the cookie.

It actually turned out to be more like stabbing the cookie with the spoon until it broke into a few pieces and got flung to various corners of the room. No problem, Mummy is here to pick up the pieces (literally) and I put it on the spoon for him. He did it! He got the spoon AND the piece of cookie in his mouth all by himself!

So today I did the unthinkable – I got Adik to feed himself his lunch. Well, not all of it, but I gave him a spoon (perhaps one size too big, I admit) and put bits of rice and vegetables and chicken on it and voila! I’d say he got about an 80% hit rate, not bad at all for a 14-month-old with a spoon the size of his face.

It was so exciting for me. One of the perks of being a stay-at-home-mum is being not just witness, but a partner, in these milestones.

Right about the same time, Abang was saying he wanted to take his kindergarten shirt off. It’s one of those shirts with 3 buttons down the front. I asked him if he would like any help and he was adamant about doing it himself.

Still, I hovered around him like a vulture waiting to pounce because usually when he says, “I do it myself!” he then continues practically in the same breath, “… with you … Mummy I need help.”

After what seemed like forever, and with the anticipation of watching a Formula 1 race, he managed to do it. He was absolutely pleased with himself, and I told him that he had every reason to be.

While I was still feeling all happy and satisfied that my children are taking 1 step forward and learning to do things on their own, this evening they decided to take 2 steps back. Adik had just had a shower and I was sitting on the floor with him. He’d been a bit highly strung lately (probably from having to share his parents again) so it was nice to see him smiling and, generally, not complaining about anything.

Then Abang came along and decided to be a drama king and flung himself on my lap saying, “Nak Mummy…..” So I did what other, normal, mums would do in my situation – I hugged him! That was when Adik belted out this awful howl, this I-Can’t-Believe-You’re-Hugging-HIM cry. Abang realised the effect of his action and also, doing what other, normal, older brothers would do in his situation – he clung on to me even harder!

Adik was trying to push Abang off amidst all that crying; Abang joined in the fray with a totally fake cry, “Nak Ma-meeeeeee…” I suppose I really should be flattered that both my children steadfastly refused anybody else.

Instead, I ended up laughing away at their antics and realised that the road to independence will be bumpier than expected and full of potholes.