Split Personality: Nature or Nurture?

Right on cue, Abang fell ill when the school holidays started. For some reason, one or both our sons will fall ill during the school holidays. It’s uncanny. He woke up on Monday with a slight temperature and a cough that made him sound like a little seal barking for its mummy.

Most if not all young children, tend to get very whiny, lose their appetite and are generally out of sorts when they’re ill. It’s like they were dispensed Grumpy Pants which they are required to wear as long as they haven’t recovered.

Abang and Adik are like that too. Except this time around was a bit different. Abang has been eating quite well, although not the usual rice or noodles, preferring instead to gorge on corn. It’s not so bad – corn is healthy after all – could be worse, eh, like insisting on Pringles or chocolates all day. This is all the more a relief especially when his doctor said to “let him decide what to eat since the appetite usually wanes when they’re ill”. I suppose it helps that a) we don’t have Pringles at home and whatever little chocolates we have are hidden, and b) we offer him healthy stuff which he likes.

I’ve also managed to get him to take afternoon naps this week, although it required me to schedule a drive somewhere, anywhere, to run an errand and take him along hoping that the ride will lull him to sleep. Anyone who knows Abang will know what a big issue sleep is with him!

Then there’s his behaviour. Oh, I could write a book about this!

When he’s ill it’s SO difficult to get him to do anything we ask him to. Take a bath? “No!” Have breakfast? “Doh-waaan…” Wash hands? “Why? My hands clean.” You get the idea.

This time it was the exact opposite. He was minding his p’s and q’s (“Thanks for helping me, Mom”), doing as he was told (puts his dirty clothes in the laundry basket after wiping up the mess he made in the bathroom) and saying cute things like (“I didn’t mean to hit you, but the lalat was there so I pukul dia!”) while giving me this fresh, innocent look.

Amazing! Eating quite alright and well behaved.

Then today the Toddlers Union representative must have called him up and reprimanded him for acting against Union rules. (Evidently, being well behaved all the time, especially while ill, is against Union rules.) We need to find a new organisation for him to align himself with.

So in Abang’s case, I think definitely there’s nurture involved, with a touch of nature. Adik, however, is most definitely nurture.

He could be happily drinking his Milo, all chatty and pleasant when suddenly Abang is told off and throws a mini-tantrum. Suddenly, Adik’s face twists into this I’m-trying-to-wrinkle-my-nose-and-cry-like-Abang-too, complete with flailing about on the floor!

I’ve been reminded that as children get older, it doesn’t get easier – just different. Is that good different? Or bad different? I want to know, I need to stay 2 steps ahead!