The Joy of Giving

“I think he feels good when he gives something to others.”

That was my mother’s conclusion when I told her about Abang being the rather generous little boy.

Some months ago, Ant J bought a very nice IKEA light to put at her house which they use when he sleeps over. Ever since then he's been asking us to buy that same light to put in his room at home.

During the long school holidays, every time we went to IKEA, he’d ask for it.

“Please, Mummy, can I have this light? It’s very nice you know.” He’d pick it up and show me the light. Each time, I would say no. It’s either “You already have a light in your room, Abang” or “No, I don’t have money for that” or some other reason that I can think of on the spot.

And each time, my little angel will say “Ok” and put it back.

By the fourth time we went there, my resolve was starting to wane and I thought since he’d been pretty well behaved the past week or so, I would surprise him by actually agreeing to it. Right on cue, at the children’s section, he picked it up and asked for it. (And he also likes to play masak-masak there!)

“Hmm… well, I’m not sure whether we can get it for you, Abang.” (Cannot just give in straight away, right? Must haggle a bit first!)

“No, no, it’s not for me. It’s for Wan (my auntie). It’s for her room.”

Ok, this was a bit unexpected. But never mind, I played along since I was planning to say yes anyway. “Well, alright then, Abang. Let's buy it for Wan.” He was SO happy!

Near the checkouts he picked up a rattan ball and asked for that too.

“But we already got you the light. If you want, you can choose between the light and the ball,” I told him.

“No, the ball is for Adik. Kesian Adik, he doesn’t have this ball.” So is that sneaky, or is that cute? How was I supposed to say no? After all we want to encourage him to be generous and think of others. So I agreed.

When we got home, he excitedly told Daddy about the light. (Of course I had already briefed Daddy on the way home.) Then Daddy said, “Wow, cool! Come on, let’s go put it up in your room now.”

“No, Daddy, this is for Wan’s room.”

“Really? It’s not for your room?” Daddy’s quite good at portraying the innocent look.

“Ya. It’s for Wan.” And he has never asked for it again, or asked for it to be in his room. It’s still in Wan’s room and I think he’s very pleased for having negotiated the present for his Wan.

Similarly, he gave the rattan ball to Adik, “Here Adik, this is for you.” That ball is always referred to as “Adik’s” and Abang has never claimed ownership over it.

I have to admit, I did wonder if/ when he would start claiming those things are his. Oh, me of little faith!