A Stranger Among Us

Abang seems to be going through what is hopefully just "a phase". He is extremely nervous, paranoid even, about "strangers".

That could be my fault. Previously, whenever we go out, say to a mall, he would go running off so far ahead until I can't see him. What's even worse is that Adik would follow and do whatever Abang does.

So I've had to be quite stern with him about staying close to the adults and not running off like that because "strangers could come and take you" and if I can't see him, I wouldn't know if he were safe or not.

And with Abang - as with probably most kids - a lesson doesn't sink in after being taught just once. I've had to repeat that many times, whenever he goes running off in a public place.

Unfortunately, he has now gone to the other extreme of being very scared to go out. (He refuses to go to the playground and if we are out, he would prefer to stay in the car with an adult while the other adult runs the errand.) And when he is out and about with us, he would insist on holding our hand the whole time, which is good I suppose, and would even get very upset if Adik runs off. When that happens, he would run after Adik and pull him back either by his hands, arms, body or even shirt to make sure that Adik stays with the group.

It got so bad that during the second week of school, every morning was a battle to get him to go inside the kindergarten. Getting him ready at home and into the car was not an issue. It's just that once we arrive at the kindergarten, he would insist that I send them in rather than just drop them off.

I don't mind doing that, but when it's time for me to leave, he would run after me and say, almost crying, "I want Mummy". This happened for a whole week before we realised he was so afraid of "strangers" that he didn't feel safe even at kindergarten.

So we've had to reassure him that once he's inside the kindergarten, it is quite safe as there are only his teachers, a maid and his friends there. I also spoke to his teacher and she's been reassuring him too. Since then, this week I've not had much problem sending him and Adik to school.

At home too, I've had to assure him that it's quite safe inside the house (I truly hope our house doesn't get broken into otherwise it would just undo all our work!) because the gate is always locked. He even added, "And our fence is quite sharp, kan? So they cannot climb."

So far, so good. The situation is improving slightly and hopefully he'll get out of this phase sooner rather than later.