Taking a Break
You may have noticed I haven't been blogging much lately. That's mostly due to the fact that Abang has been rather difficult lately, making me (and Wan) extremely tired. Daddy and I suspect he's adjusting to Adik being at kindergarten with him. It's almost like going through the emotional adjustment of having a baby brother all over again. The difference is that now, Adik is getting fussed over at kindergarten by the teachers (including Abang's!), whereas kindergarten used to be Abang's territory.
So he's feeling somewhat insecure and much in need of attention, even if it's negative attention. And that makes it extremely exhausting for all the adults.
Anyway, I try to take the boys to play outside for as long as I can. We recently got the mango tree pruned lately because it was getting way too bushy and semak. Since then there has been renewed interest in climbing the tree!
Even the cats are enjoying it. Well, in this case, Harun chased Thomas up the tree and wanted to bergurau but Thomas was trying so hard to have none of that. In this photo Harun looks like he's biting Thomas' butt. I thought that was hilarious. Well, probably not to Thomas who, after the humiliation of getting bitten on his behind, lost his balance and almost fell into the drain. He managed to cling on to the fence in a Garfield-like manner.
Adik too enjoys climbing the tree and he's been pretty brave about climbing up by himself. He put the red stool at the bottom of the tree and went up and up until he wasn't sure how to go up further. Which is just as well because I was starting to get nervous and so asked him to get down.At one point he was pretty high and needed help coming down so I had to ask Daddy to reach up and get him.
Back to Abang, I've been reading up on 'dealing with regression' (which is essentially what it is) and apparently I need to:
- be patient (oh boy)
- shower as much praise as possible on him whenever possible
- be consistent
Wish me luck.
posted by Full Time Mom @ 3:44 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Good Luck. We went through that earlier this year with M starting to "baby talk" and then wailing with "wah wah wah" noises just to be like his baby brother. I told him he had to wear a diaper if he wanted to be a baby (I'm such a great Mom!), and that stopped the baby talk and wahwah'ing. The attention grabbing is still happening. Can you do a summarized version here when you're done reading?! Mag
Hi Mag
A thousand gazillion apologies for such a tardy reply but it's been a bit nuts here lately.
Anyway, I presume you mean a summarized version of "abang being difficult"?
Basically it's extreme stubbornness and defiance. What normally takes me only 1 or 2 times to get him to do something (mundane stuff like brush teeth, wash hands, etc) takes 5-6 times. By which time, decibel levels have gone up as have stress and blood pressure levels.
Then there's directly annoying Adik. And unlike a little baby, Adik will fight back. Both become total drama kings and it drives my auntie and I up the wall.
Adik also now likes being a contrarion which, in turn, annoys Abang! And because I don't agree with the way my auntie handles misbehaviour, THAT stresses me out as well.
It's no wonder I had such a bad migraine this past week that I had to go get a jab from my doctor (!).
I know Abang's antics are related to Adik because he delights when Adik gets told off and would even instigate me to "scold Adik! scold Adik!".
Anyway, to keep my migraine under control as well as draw out some of his frustration I try to handle him as calmly as possible. Once he broke down and cried, the real *sad* cry (as opposed to angry cry) and I just hugged him and kept telling him it's ok, Mummy and Daddy love him very much, just like Adik loves him very much too.
It was a bit better after that, but then it was up and down again. So I guess he needs plenty of reassurance, and at the same time some firmness and consistency that he is used to.
I'm also hoping it's just a phase that will go away soon.
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