The Reconnaissance Mission

I’ve been trying to avoid the malls lately. I don’t have anything against malls, I just want to get the boys doing things that don’t involve going to the malls. So yesterday (Monday) I took the boys to Putrajaya to check out the boat ride at the lake.

Abang was having a slight cough, but his spirits were high so I decided to let him come along. I had to set expectations, repeating many times that we’re just “checking it out” and not actually “taking the boat ride”. Adik was so excited to go, he started spinning around the lounge when we were packing up the car. Since it was just the boys and me, there wasn’t much to pack because I like to travel light. Yes, I took the boys by myself and no, I wasn’t feeling suicidal.

The drive was nice and smooth, although I think I may have accidentally taken the longer route via LDP instead of the KL-Seremban highway. Both boys were munching away in the car without too much fuss.

There were clear road signs to ‘Cruise Tasik Putrajaya’ which made it very easy to find. It’s right next to the mosque. Amazingly enough, Adik fell asleep just before we turned left towards the Prime Minister’s Department. Lately he doesn’t fall asleep in the car (except after the birthday party on Sunday, when he passed out 5 minutes after leaving 1Utama).

So that presented me with a dilemma – do we turn around and head back so that Adik’s sleep is not interrupted? Or just go ahead with our plan to check out the cruise, risking a nap cut short?

It didn’t take me long to decide: I’m not wasting a 30km drive! So I gingerly put Adik’s sandals on him and got Abang out of the car. I unstrapped Adik from his car seat and slung him over my shoulder. Even more amazing, he remained asleep despite the bright sunlight and surrounding noise. (Reminds me of my cousin’s son who can sleep through a birthday party.)

We followed signs to the cruise. Good thing there was a lift! Adik’s getting heavy and I didn’t want Abang out in the sun too long. When we got to the counter, the officer patiently explained all the different packages available. In fact, when she asked me to fill in a form and I struggled (having a 10kg boy on one’s shoulder makes it difficult to write), she filled it in for me!

Once we completed our mission, we looked out for the boats on the lake. They looked pretty decent, and I would definitely opt for the covered boat and not the open perahu, especially with children. A bit expensive, but as a one-off experience I’m willing to give it a try.

On our way up in the lift Adik woke up. He was still a bit groggy when I strapped him into his car seat, so he didn’t fuss at all. Within 3 minutes of leaving, Abang said he needed to go to the loo. Of course it had to be after we left. Mummy wanted to freeload the posh toilets at the Shangri-La, but they don’t make it easy for you to do that, having the car park far, far away from the lobby. Eventually we found a more, shall we say, convenient toilet.

We made it home just fine, in time for lunch! Too bad I couldn't take any pictures, I hadn't grown enough hands. I followed the One-Child-Per-Hand rule so I ran out of hands to take photos.

Now to plan the real thing … (bringing extra pairs of hands!)

Night and Day

I know I’ve said this before, but it still amazes me how different Abang and Adik are from each other. They really are as different as night and day and it could not have been more obvious than today.

Daddy and I took Adik to a birthday party at Kizsports 1Utama. Abang didn’t go because he had stayed overnight at Ant J’s house and was busy getting away with murder around Nenek. (But that’s ok, that’s why Ant J is there – to rein them both in!)

Birthday parties like this usually start with free play. Adik was totally uninterested in the 3-and-under play area and preferred the open area for the above-3 year olds. I took him to the long slide first, because that’s the one that doesn’t require me to be a contortionist (which I would have had to be to follow him around some of the other equipment).

The long slide has soft, cushiony stairs leading to the platform at the top of the slide. It’s an open slide, which I prefer, rather than a tunnel slide. He loved it! Initially he was a bit hesitant, not sure what to expect, but when we got to the bottom he immediately tried to climb back up the slide. After the second time, he didn’t even wait for me. He knew exactly where to go and he was happy to go up by himself.

So I decided to step back and just watch him from afar. I wanted to see how far he would go without me around. Quite far, it would seem. After climbing a few steps up he looked around, saw some older children, looked for me, didn’t find me, shrugged and kept going. When I realised he was already at the top of slide, I elbowed my way past the other children (“PANICKY MOM COMING THROUGH!”) and got to him just before he slid all the way down. Without me!

See, there’s no way Abang would have done that at that age. Heck, even now he wouldn’t do that. Especially not in a loud and noisy place full of screaming kids.

After that the party coordinator got all the children into the dance room (like a dance studio with mirrored walls) to play really rowdy and boisterous games. Adik took Daddy’s finger and pulled him towards the room. Man, it was LOUD! And Adik enjoyed it! When the children came running, almost charging, in his direction – he stood up and screamed. In delight! Then he went running with them in the other direction.

Next up was the parachute, which all the children and adults were holding and shaking up and down to make the ‘waves’. Adik was only too happy to help.

If Abang were there, firstly he would have not gone in. If, by some miracle he went in the games room, he’d probably have his hands cupped over his ears the whole time, never leaving Daddy’s or my side. It would be a cold day in hell before he joins in something like that.

The defining moment was, to me, when Daddy and I were sitting down eating and Adik was walking about, heading to the birthday party room. One of the party coordinators was also going in and he saw Adik walking towards him.

“Hi! You want to come in? Come-la,” he offered Adik his hand.

Adik took his hand and went in. All by himself.

The 6-Week Long Headache

Yes, I am referring to the school holidays. Our children are out of school and … at the malls? At “camp”? At extra tuition classes?

Oh, how do I occupy thee? Let me count the ways.

There’s good old fashioned television, cartoon channels and a vcd or 2 to keep those potatos firmly on the couch. That’s not necessarily a good thing though. Hmm.

While we’re on the topic of electronic babysitters (or child minders), how about a games console? While they still make the children (or adults who play them, a-ha!) stare at the TV, at least they have some thinking and some “doing” to do, even if it is just moving their fingers and hands. Still, for someone as young as Abang, it helps improve his hand-eye coordination, plus the games meant for children his age have simple puzzles for them to solve. His Leapster has really been a great help in this respect.

Then there’s “camp”. I’ve received so many flyers on holiday “camps”, it’s become an industry in itself! I guess there is a market out there for good, structured and semi-structured activities that keep the kids out of trouble and get them doing constructive things during the holidays. Last year, I supervised Abang at my sister’s camp. Even though the children were Cuz and AJ’s age, that is primary school age, it was a great experience for him especially since it was familiar surroundings. Can’t wait for the next one in December!

The Kizsports- and Megakidz-type play places are great for the kids to expand as much energy as they possible could. It’s tiring just watching them run around, screaming, laughing and getting all sweaty. These places are a touch expensive, though, especially if you have more than 1 child who needs to burn off energy. Having said that, I think if they (and the adult) can last at least 4 hours, then it’s quite worth it.

Ah, shopping malls. Such a wonderful invention. The mall management are getting quite good at pulling in the families with colouring contests and the like. So far, I haven’t been able to actually see one in progress because we usually hit the malls in the early morning when they first open, while most of these activities happen in the afternoon. Plus, if it were in progress when we are there we’d most likely avoid it because we just don’t like crowds. Abang shies away from crowds, just like his Mummy and Daddy. Adik, however, is a story for a different day.

Since this is our first “real” school holiday experience (Abang started kindergarten early this year) I’m looking for other things for them to do, besides all of the above. I guess I could start with the regular touristy places – bird park, butterfly park and Putrajaya.

By the way, Abang has been asking to go to Petrosains at KLCC (even though he’s been there twice already) but *ahem* maybe some younger, more energetic “che-ches” and abangs would be better off taking on that challenge.

How do I occupy thee?

Let me count the ways.

Spoon Update

Well, I nervously called up MBPJ this morning to inquire the status of my RM100 compound which I got slapped with for failing to display my 'Pay and Display' parking ticket.

(For the uninitiated, I did 'pay' but failed to 'display' because it was hidden under the sunshade.)
What a relief, they've cancelled it! Hooray!

More like "phew".

Concert Day

Update: See the bottom of the post for Abang's Mummy's kindergarten concert picture!


I remember when Abang’s teacher told me about their school concert. Initially, I thought that only the older children, the 5- and 6-year olds, would be involved.

“Oh no, all the children will be involved,” she corrected me, “the 3- and 4-year olds will be doing a Chinese dance.”

“Really?” I didn’t hide my surprise. “Can they actually remember the dance steps?” I was more amused than anything. I mean, how many dancing steps can a 3-year old remember, anyway?

“Can, can. They are very simple steps.”

So this morning was Abang’s “Concert Day”, as he kept referring to it. Parents were instructed to send their children to the school (a local primary school) at 8:30am and come back later to attend the concert at 10am.

We were a little late, arriving at 10:10am and the principal was already finishing her speech. They were way early! Daddy concluded that the children were probably all getting very restless, having been there since 8:30am and so the teachers decided to start bang on time.

Luckily, we got there before the concert proper started.

What a treat for us parents! The Welcome Dance was performed to Ricky Martin’s “The Cup of Life” – you know that song, “go go go, ale ale ale…” with the kind of gusto only 6-year old boys could conjure on a Sunday morning. It was followed by what was called “Hawaiian Dance” performed by the girls in costumes that we were afraid might have JAKIM or JAWI (or, heaven help us, RELA) banging on our school doors!

Next up, the moment we were waiting for: Abang’s Chinese Dance. The girls came out first, all dressed up, then came the boys in their bright red shirts and beige pants. Aaahh … so that's what he was doing all week. A little march, followed by waving of hands up in the air and then turning around and walking in single file off the stage. He also “taught” me some of the girls’ steps.

Was it just me, or was he the best Chinese dancer around?

The rest of the show was absolutely cute. I like the one called “Mexican Dance”, which actually featured the boys in cool sunglasses and toy guitars rocking away to “La Bamba”. Later they also had a play involving ‘animals’, ‘plants’ and a narrator all of whom were from the 6-year olds’ class. An “Indian Classical Dance” was performed by the girls and then the boys did a clown show – very appropriate indeed for 5-year old boys.

After the "Joget", the real clown showed up to entertain the children while the teachers helped the 6-year olds get ready for their graduation. That’s when we started seeing some of Abang’s classmates start to cry and be taken by their parents. Perhaps sitting right at the feet of The Scary Clown while he’s doing a magic trick involving eating pieces of paper and later pulling it back out (only this time it’s a single piece about 3 metres long) was just too much for them.

Just then, I was telling Daddy how brave Abang was: Not only was he – by far – the best performing dancer (in my biased, motherly opinion) but he also didn’t cry neither did he have stage fright from the INCREDIBLY LOUD music that was blaring during the concert. He’s even ok with the clown, even though some of his classmates are not! Hah!

Oh-oh.

Right at that moment we saw his class teacher walking towards us, holding the hands of a little boy crying away, insisting on going home because “scared” of The Clown.

Before we left, we managed to congratulate the principal on a great concert and she handed us a goody bag – stationery set for the children (obviously!), a packet of mee hoon (very nice), a packet of nasi lemak (Abang polished half of it) and mineral water. This was in addition to the snack pack of doughnut and curry puffs they handed out when we arrived.

We said thank you, and we went home. Proud parents, unite!

Mummy doing her Chinese dance 30 years ago!

Of Geeks and Jocks

At the tender age of 3 and a half, Abang is showing signs of becoming a geek. Firstly, he’s quite thin (although he has put on weight recently due to a sudden surge in appetite). We can already imagine him wearing a white (short sleeved) work shirt with a tie that ought to have been his dad’s and a collar so loose, he’s lucky to have his shoulders nearby to prevent it from falling off.

Secondly, his interest in computer (and computer-related) games. Ant J bought him a Leapster for his 3rd birthday and he just can’t seem to put it down now.

The first thing he says in the morning, is, “I want to play with my Leapster!” and then does it. I’m going to try to disallow him playing it in the car because not only does it prevent him from falling asleep, I also think he should be experiencing what’s outside the car more than what’s inside the microchip.

The other thing he can’t resist is to play the V-Smile game (which hooks up to a regular TV) whenever we’re at, or even near, a toy shop that has a demo unit. Honestly, one time I had to literally walk away to get him to tear himself away from the game.

Since he’s not the bravest little boy around, he hates being left alone. So the only way I could get him to stop playing the game was to give him the usual parent-approved line, “Ok, MUMMY’S GOING NOW, BYE!” and walk off. By the way, even though you’ve said that line umpteen times, you not only have to actually walk off, but stay out of his sight until he pries himself away from the game to go looking for you.

Once he has undocked from the game console, I can distract him enough at the mall to get him to move on without too much fuss.

Adik, on the other hand, is a total jock. I mean, totally. Sure, his hand-eye coordination is very good and his fine motor skills, as I’ve mentioned before, are great too.

I know that in itself doesn’t make one a jock, just well-coordinated.

However, this little boy loves to spin in his exersaucer at top speed until it makes the adults around him feel dizzy. This is also the boy who, when he first learnt to stand up on his own, would stagger on his way up and bump his head against the wall. Nothing unusual, you might say, he was just learning to stand up so surely he’d be a bit wobbly. A-ha! That’s true, but do other 11-month old boys continue bumping his head against the wall even after the first accidental episode had ended? Would other 11-month old boys do that with a grin on his face? And then get up and do it all over again after he’s fallen on his face because he’s dizzy from banging his head on the wall so much?

I don’t think so either. I guess the future Captain of the Football Team will have to protect The President of the Chess Club from any school bullies!

Brother, You are My Hero!

It’s amazing how Adik mimics whatever Abang says and does. If Abang does a silly spinning dance in the middle of the lounge, then Adik wants to do it, too! If Abang screams at the cat, why, Adik will demand to be reprimanded as well. Why should Abang have all the fun, eh?

Adik is only now beginning to make some semi-recognisable sounds, like “meow” without the “ow” sound so sounds more like a “me-aa” when he sees the cats (funny how my son’s first word is a actually a meow – Harun’s mummy would be pleased!). So, when Abang says something interesting Adik tries to say it too. He usually gets the intonation spot on but the words get a bit jumbled up.

Since Abang is, well, the Abang, he has no Abang of his own and so his heroes are his cousins. Whenever he’s with Cuz I can be rest assured that as long as Cuz is well behaved (which he is 90% of the time), then Abang will be too. If Cuz asks nicely for some French toast and eats it all, then – wait for it – so does Abang. To top it off, Cuz’s politeness has really rubbed off on Abang!

Just the other day we went to fetch Cuz from school and they were chatting in the car, like usual, about school and stuff. Cuz was telling how he got all sweaty because he had been playing outdoors all morning.

Then Abang asked, “If I’m all sweaty at your apartment, will your mom let me play in the shower with you?”

“Um, yeah,” replied a rather reluctant Cuz. I guess 9-year old boys are more particular about privacy than 3-year olds are!

After about 15 minutes of their chatting, I noticed that Abang would repeat, almost word for word, whatever Cuz said. Then, as if reading my mind, Abang himself piped up, “Hey, I’m following everything you say!”

I laughed so loud that both boys were wondering if I’d gone cuckoo. So I said to Abang, “Yes, you do, Abang! Why do you do that?”

“Because I am friends with Cuz.”

AJ has the same effect on Abang. No matter what AJ asks for, Abang will ask for the same thing even if he has never heard of it before and hasn’t a clue what it is!

AJ: I want ice cream!
Abang: I want ice cream also!
AJ: I want solaris (or something that sounds like that, apparently a type of ice cream)
Abang: I want soo-loar-aa also!

Maybe I can teach (or bribe) them to say things like, “I want vege! I don’t want sweets! Eeee-yuck, no chocolates for me, please.”

Let’s see if that works.

Help! I Gave Birth to a Neat Freak (or Two)

It started when Abang was much younger, around Adik’s age now. While he wasn’t particularly interested in stacking, or nesting his toys, I noticed that he preferred instead to arrange them neatly either on the floor, on the coffee table. Similar coloured toys were put together, labels or pictures would all be facing the same way – outwards.

At this point, certain members of our family would be wondering where he got that sense of ‘neatness’ from. Really!

When we got him his first crayon set and a children’s table to draw on, I taped down some paper on the table so that he could scribble and draw pictures on it. This way there was less risk of his accidentally scribbling on the table since the paper was taped down. We reminded him constantly that drawing was ‘only meant for the paper on the table’ and not anywhere else, like the wall or floor.

As one would expect, he decided to experiment and find out what would happen if he did attempt to redecorate the walls.

Well, on both occasions he’s had the pleasure of also finding out the right way to use a cleaning sponge!

I have to say, though, ever since then, his cleaning bouts have been more constructive than destructive. Not just that, Adik has also jumped on the Cleaning Bandwagon.

I mean, really, I cannot imagine where they get that from.

Whenever we’re outside, they love to wipe the cars down. Abang actually does a pretty decent job. He even knows to climb using the stool to get to the hard to reach areas. Adik somehow manages to get dirt on his hands without taking any off the car. But then I’m not too hopeful of my 15-month old actually being able to clean my car. That would be a little too hopeful.

It’s pretty cute, though, how Adik would sometimes grab a cloth (or a piece of clothing that’s lying about in the lounge) and then wipe the floor with it. He keeps trying to wipe this sticker that Abang had stuck to the floor years ago, obviously realising that it is out of place there.

The most recent adventure the boys had was with some baby powder. I’m not too sure how they got hold of it but all I know is, I went to the kitchen to get a drink, I came out 0.2 milliseconds later and the floor was white and slippery, the chair had powder on it and they’re both giggling away.

Not a good sign.

Reprimands, freaking out, slipping about on the floor … yadda yadda yadda. Alright boys, get to work. Mummy is not cleaning this up for you.

They’re still giggling, by the way.

A wet cloth for each boy and off they went. I think they secretly enjoy cleaning.

Where could they have got this from, I wonder?

i-Talk! i-Talk!

Adik is making steady progress with his verbal communication, while his non-verbal communication continues to improve.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, Adik has been calling Daddy, “Dah!” which is as close as he can get at this stage and we’re not complaining! The pitch of his voice is permanently set at the “Cute” level of shrillness. When he repeats it while running to his Daddy with his arms outstretched, it’s pretty clear what “Dah!” means.

Having said that, he does have another association for “dah”. Whenever he hears the distinct honk of Uncle Roti’s motorbike, he stops what he’s doing, climbs up the chair nearest to him, points outside and shouts, “DAH! DAH!” He has obviously noticed that the adults around him yell, “ROTI!” whenever we need to buy bread from Uncle Roti. I realise that “Dah” doesn’t sound anything like “roti”, but it’s quite clear what he’s referring to.

Similarly, when the gas man drives through the neighbourhood, the unique honk blaring away makes Adik poke his head up much like a prairie dog, barking, “Ga! Ga!” Of course I pile on the praise!

“Why, that’s right, Adik! It is the lori gas, isn’t it?” I tell him.

“GA! GA!” he repeats, which I usually interpret as, “Well, aren’t you going to run out like a mad fool and wave wildly at him while yelling at the top of your lungs?”

“Actually, no sweetie, we just bought a new tong gas last week. But thank you for the reminder.” Such a sweet boy.

The other thing he says on a fairly regular basis is “Nenek” (well, not clearly and precisely, but as close to it as he’ll get for now). Have I mentioned that Nenek has been his Flavour of the Month recently? Come to think of it, it’s more like Flavour of the Quarter because she’s been his Flavour for about 3 months or so now. Whenever we go to their house, he’s inseparable from her. It didn’t take me long to realise why: It’s because she carries him around everywhere, even for his lunch!

Anyway, whenever we’re on the way to her house we tell him, “We’re going to Nenek’s house now, Adik. We should be there soon.”

Then he does his prairie dog imitation from his car seat and says, “Neh-neh. Neh-neh?”

“Yes, Nenek’s house. We’re going to see Nenek!” His enthusiasm is infectious.

And once, he actually repeated, “Neh-neh, Neh-neh, Neh-neh” all the way to her house.

Needless to say, Nenek was very pleased when I told her about that!

Needy Kittens

Daddy has been away the past week and everyone’s missing him. To deal with it, Abang decided he would rather stay at Ant J’s the entire weekend (from Friday afternoon through Sunday morning), further subjecting her to early morning wake-up calls (note the time stamp on the picture). Adik, on the other hand, has been shouting, “Dah! Dah!” from the bottom of the stairs, fully expecting Daddy to answer him from his workstation at the upstairs lounge area.

Even Harun has been extra-super needy these days. Usually once he’s fed he’d be all quiet and happy. These days, he’s meowing starts off as a mellow, “Meow..” and woe-be-tide if I don’t attend to him. It gets louder (“MEOW”) and louder (“MEOW!”) and eventually it becomes a really loud, heart-wrenching “MEEE-OOWWWW……”. One might think he hadn’t been fed in 3 days, when in actual fact it’s more like 3 minutes.

Thomas, on the other hand, remains the more ‘normal’ of the 2 cats by being aloof and pretending not to realise that anything is different.

Still, we take it all in stride and get on with what we have to do – except Harun, who still insists on getting underfoot until I accidentally kicked him, tripped and then landed on his foot. He gave me a really offended look.

Adik, while not exactly getting underfoot, has also been extra clingy. I suppose he, too, realises Daddy’s not around and deals with it the only way he knows how.

On Monday, when I fetched Abang from kindergarten the first thing he said to me was he wanted to talk to Ant J because he wanted to tell her that class is over and that he’s on the way home. I agreed, although by the time she answered her phone we were already home so he basically gave her a status update of his day so far.

I guessed he didn’t really know how to say “I miss you” but he was obviously feeling it.

Later that afternoon, we went to fetch Cuz from school (his mom needed a favour) and on the way there he asked to speak to Daddy.

“Hi Dad!” was Abang’s opening line. I couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, because Abang was using my headset. The monologue went something like this.

“I’m in the car, on the way to fetch Cuz with Mummy.”

Pause.

“Yes.” Another pause.

Another quick “yes” answer. I guessed his Daddy must have asked him if he’s been well behaved, because that’s exactly how he answers that question. And then:

“I miss you dad.” Pause. “I want you to come back.”

“I love you, Dad! Ok, BYE!” and he handed me the headset.

Obviously I was wrong – he does know how to say it!

I Feel Like Such a Spoon

I’m borrowing this phrase from our friend, JWR, who used to say it whenever he was feeling particularly sheepish about having done something silly. I know for a fact that I’ve done silly things before this, but I can’t seem to remember exactly what they were. It’s like there’s a ‘self-destruct’ button within our memory that automatically erases these episodes, without necessarily erasing the lessons learnt.

It’s somewhat similar to how Mother Nature gives us selective amnesia after having children. Sure, I remember labour being excruciatingly painful but I can’t remember the exact sensation of the pain. I also remember how Abang was a real pain in the … I mean, how he was such a “high need” baby that made even going to the toilet an achievement for me. But, 3 years on, somehow it doesn’t seem “that bad”. I guess Mother Nature has to make sure people have more than 1 child! If we remember everything, there’s no way we’d say, “Oh, look dear, such a cute baby. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a baby in the house again?” NOT!

Anyway, back to doing silly things. On Friday afternoon I parked my car in PJ, at a legal, pay-and-display parking lot. It was a great spot, too, very close to my destination. So I hopped across the road, got a parking ticket and promptly displayed it on the dashboard. I even remembered to fold the wing mirrors in. Just before I walked off, I thought to myself, “Hmm, it’s hot today. Maybe I should put up the sunshade.”

It’s funny how my alarm bells were not working that afternoon. If they were, I’m sure it would have gone off, “DING-DING-DING! Doofus alert!”

That’s because when I got back 3 hours later (a full hour before my ticket expired), I found a piece of paper under my wiper. It’s probably a flyer, I thought. But hang on, how come no other car has it?

DOH! It’s a parking compound! But… but … I bought a ticket. I even displayed it. I looked towards the windscreen but didn’t see the parking ticket I had put on the dashboard. Instead, all I saw was the damn sunshade.

Man, did I feel like a complete and utter spoon. Make that a whole cutlery tray when I saw it was a RM100 compound. Cheh. After banging my head against the imaginary wall (which is a lot less painful than a real one), I decided to try my luck at MBPJ. It was already 4:35pm so I wasn’t too hopeful that the counters would still be open, but since I was in the area I tried my luck.

The kaunter rayuan was still open – hooray – so I went and explained my case to the officer as best I could, with a touch of grovelling added to it.

Then she said, “Oh, so the enforcement officer couldn’t see the ticket. Ok, then you’ll just have to pay RM20.”

“Eh? Can’t you just cancel it? I did have a valid ticket,” I tried again.

She then peered over to the next counter and said, “Oh, sorry, we’re out of the forms.”

We stared blankly at each other.

Not very helpful, I thought. But then, since I was the grovel-er, not the grovel-ee, I couldn’t really give her any attitude. So I asked her what I should do next and she said to come back on Monday, anytime between 8am and 5pm.

I guess I’ll be there.

The Road to Independence … or is it?

With Abang away at Ant J’s house for most of the weekend from Thursday through to Sunday, Adik was thoroughly enjoying pure, unadulterated 100% attention from his parents. Just like Abang was enjoying pure, unadulterated 100% attention from Ant J and Nenek. This had positive spillover effects of bringing out very good behaviour in both of them.

I even managed to “teach” Adik to feed himself with a spoon. I say “teach” because he actually doesn’t need much teaching. His fine motor skills are, well, fine. The other day I gave him a plastic spoon to play with and in the other hand he had a cookie. On his own, he proceeded to sit on the children’s chair at the children’s table, put the cookie on the table and attempt to spoonfeed himself the cookie.

It actually turned out to be more like stabbing the cookie with the spoon until it broke into a few pieces and got flung to various corners of the room. No problem, Mummy is here to pick up the pieces (literally) and I put it on the spoon for him. He did it! He got the spoon AND the piece of cookie in his mouth all by himself!

So today I did the unthinkable – I got Adik to feed himself his lunch. Well, not all of it, but I gave him a spoon (perhaps one size too big, I admit) and put bits of rice and vegetables and chicken on it and voila! I’d say he got about an 80% hit rate, not bad at all for a 14-month-old with a spoon the size of his face.

It was so exciting for me. One of the perks of being a stay-at-home-mum is being not just witness, but a partner, in these milestones.

Right about the same time, Abang was saying he wanted to take his kindergarten shirt off. It’s one of those shirts with 3 buttons down the front. I asked him if he would like any help and he was adamant about doing it himself.

Still, I hovered around him like a vulture waiting to pounce because usually when he says, “I do it myself!” he then continues practically in the same breath, “… with you … Mummy I need help.”

After what seemed like forever, and with the anticipation of watching a Formula 1 race, he managed to do it. He was absolutely pleased with himself, and I told him that he had every reason to be.

While I was still feeling all happy and satisfied that my children are taking 1 step forward and learning to do things on their own, this evening they decided to take 2 steps back. Adik had just had a shower and I was sitting on the floor with him. He’d been a bit highly strung lately (probably from having to share his parents again) so it was nice to see him smiling and, generally, not complaining about anything.

Then Abang came along and decided to be a drama king and flung himself on my lap saying, “Nak Mummy…..” So I did what other, normal, mums would do in my situation – I hugged him! That was when Adik belted out this awful howl, this I-Can’t-Believe-You’re-Hugging-HIM cry. Abang realised the effect of his action and also, doing what other, normal, older brothers would do in his situation – he clung on to me even harder!

Adik was trying to push Abang off amidst all that crying; Abang joined in the fray with a totally fake cry, “Nak Ma-meeeeeee…” I suppose I really should be flattered that both my children steadfastly refused anybody else.

Instead, I ended up laughing away at their antics and realised that the road to independence will be bumpier than expected and full of potholes.