A Stranger Among Us

Abang seems to be going through what is hopefully just "a phase". He is extremely nervous, paranoid even, about "strangers".

That could be my fault. Previously, whenever we go out, say to a mall, he would go running off so far ahead until I can't see him. What's even worse is that Adik would follow and do whatever Abang does.

So I've had to be quite stern with him about staying close to the adults and not running off like that because "strangers could come and take you" and if I can't see him, I wouldn't know if he were safe or not.

And with Abang - as with probably most kids - a lesson doesn't sink in after being taught just once. I've had to repeat that many times, whenever he goes running off in a public place.

Unfortunately, he has now gone to the other extreme of being very scared to go out. (He refuses to go to the playground and if we are out, he would prefer to stay in the car with an adult while the other adult runs the errand.) And when he is out and about with us, he would insist on holding our hand the whole time, which is good I suppose, and would even get very upset if Adik runs off. When that happens, he would run after Adik and pull him back either by his hands, arms, body or even shirt to make sure that Adik stays with the group.

It got so bad that during the second week of school, every morning was a battle to get him to go inside the kindergarten. Getting him ready at home and into the car was not an issue. It's just that once we arrive at the kindergarten, he would insist that I send them in rather than just drop them off.

I don't mind doing that, but when it's time for me to leave, he would run after me and say, almost crying, "I want Mummy". This happened for a whole week before we realised he was so afraid of "strangers" that he didn't feel safe even at kindergarten.

So we've had to reassure him that once he's inside the kindergarten, it is quite safe as there are only his teachers, a maid and his friends there. I also spoke to his teacher and she's been reassuring him too. Since then, this week I've not had much problem sending him and Adik to school.

At home too, I've had to assure him that it's quite safe inside the house (I truly hope our house doesn't get broken into otherwise it would just undo all our work!) because the gate is always locked. He even added, "And our fence is quite sharp, kan? So they cannot climb."

So far, so good. The situation is improving slightly and hopefully he'll get out of this phase sooner rather than later.

Mummy's Little Helper

Adik has really taken to the kitchen. In fact, he would get downright upset if I don't let him.

Last week he started helping me prepare dinner by *insisting* that he tumbuk the garlic and shallots. So I gave him some peeled ones and watched how he did it. He did very well! I actually used them in the stir-fried vege dish!

When he was done, I asked him to wash his hands and go and play so he pushed the stool towards the kitchen sink and started washing his hands. While doing so, he noticed there were some unwashed items in there and proceeded to wash those!

Admittedly, I did have to re-wash some of the things but then, like I mentioned to Ant J, I get what I pay for since I pay nothing.

(Oh yes, Abang walked in at some point and decided he wasn't going to miss out on all the "fun" and tried to "help" by sharpening our butter knives - from the expensive set, no less - for which I had to shower him with appreciation for his kind thought.)

And Adik would also help to "cook" the rice:

Daddy says Adik would make a good house-husband. I'm just enjoying his help (and enjoying watching him do all these things so earnestly!).

Money Matters

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but with school starting it was a little hectic for us.

One of the things we've been doing is to get Abang on a 'timetable' at home. When he completes what he is supposed to do, it gets ticked off on his chart and - this may be a contentious issue - gets some money to put in a special 'tabung'.

I won't go into the details of what he does to earn this money because it's honestly a little embarrassing that I have to pay my son to do these things, but hey, different kids have different issues that they need more 'motivation' on, so if this works for Abang, so be it.

After about a week, he was doing quite well, not getting all 100% ticks but nevertheless still noteworthy. However, by the beginning of the second week he was perhaps a little demotivated so Daddy suggested I take Abang and whatever money he has earned to the supermarket and let him choose whatever he wants to buy with that money.

So on Monday afternoon, I put that suggestion to Abang and he was quite excited about spending "his" money. We counted it up and he had a grand sum of RM6.60 (he actually earned RM5.50; we started him off with RM1 and if he does everything, he'd earn RM1 a day). I asked what he would like to buy and he said "Mamee Monster!" Not my favourite snack, but could be worse, so never mind. Oh yes, and he wanted a bottle of 100 Plus.

Off we went to the nearby Giant with a little pouch full of 50sen and 20sen coins. He was so excited he looked like he was bursting at the seams.

At the snacks isle, we found the jumbo pack of Mamee Monster (consisting of 10 mini-packs) that he wanted.

"Abang, here it is!" I told him excitedly.

"Ok I want the barbeque flavour. That's the nice flavour."

"Sure. Let's see, this pack of 10 is RM3.29," I told him.

"So .. so how many packs can I buy with my money?" He was ready to grab the whole shelf.

"Well, you have RM6.60 so in theory, you can actually buy 2. BUT if you do, you won't have any money leftover for your 100 Plus." I let the lesson sink in a little.

"Oh." He thought about it. "Then I only want 1 Mamee Monster. Because I want to have the 100 Plus also."

"Good choice, Abang! Let's get the 100 Plus."

I showed him that 100 Plus costs Rm1.59 and so his total purchase for that shopping trip was RM4.90, which meant that he had some leftover money.

At home was had a little 'picnic' on the floor where he shared his purchases with Adik and me. Hopefully he will fully absorb the very important lesson about money which is that resources are limited and therefore his will always have to make choices about how to best spend his money.

p/s. He gave a mini-pack to Daddy when he got home from work and yesterday, after we fetched Wan from kampung, as soon as we got in he gave Wan a mini-pack too.