The Kepong Run

Every Wednesday, I take my sons to my mother-in-law’s house in Kepong. It gives her some extra time with her grandsons in addition to the weekly Sunday visits. I don’t mind the drive, even if it is a bit far to go, but I always hope for smooth off-peak traffic. We normally leave after 9:30am, but the LDP is very unpredictable.

One day, it took a whole hour to get to Kepong. And this was “off-peak” hours! Those poor office folks who were stuck in the jam way before we were would definitely have been very late for work.

Another time, it was smooth as silk, took no more than 35minutes. Most of the time, though, it would take about 40minutes, and that includes some slow (but moving) sections of the LDP.

What is predictable these days, is increased police presence. I see them everywhere, especially on my Wednesday Kepong runs. Sometimes on main roads, sometimes on not-so-main roads. They look like they’re stopping very specific people. For example, they stand in wait around the corner where you can’t see them and those who beat the red lights get it. But then, also, they’re in clear view on the straight stretch of the main road so I’m not sure who they’re looking for in those cases.

I’d take some pictures of them, but, uh, well, I’d rather not attract attention to myself. While I haven’t been rushing through any red lights, I think “Attempting to Take Photographs of Police Officers” might constitute ‘suspicious behaviour’.

There are certain spots that I know for sure they will sit and wait, but for what I don’t know. One is on Persiaran Surian just after you exit the LDP and turn left to head towards Mutiara Damansara. There are usually about a dozen of them there. It causes a massive jam, especially if it’s around noon.

There’s another predictable spot. If you're on the NPE (heading towards Sunway from Subang Jaya) and you turn right onto the LDP heading towards the Sunway toll, they're likely to be there probably waiting for either queue jumpers or those who run the red light.

Anyway, it got me thinking, maybe it is true, that more police presence makes for more civilised driving. It’s not even necessarily actual enforcement that makes us less prone to breaking the law, but the perception of enforcement. Furthermore , if increased presence can deter petty thieves and other small time criminals, then hopefully these would-have-been petty thieves would not move on to larger and worse crimes.

According to the newspapers, the police force is trying to increase their presence, so I think that it’s working. It will take awhile before their increased presence will make me feel safe, as is their objective, but if they continue the way they are doing now, I think public perception of the police would improve dramatically.

Things Children Say

At 13+ months, Adik is starting to make some recognisable baby talk. He's been babbling for a few months now, just idle chatter, but lately the babbling almost resembles half-words.

For example, he can say “ts-ts-ts-ts” which, amazingly, stands for “cheese”. It’s one of his favourite snacks. In between meals if I suspect he’s a touch hungry I take him to the kitchen and ask him, “Adik, would you like some cheese? Yes? Let’s have some cheese, nak?” And when I open the fridge he happily points to the cheese, saying, “Ts-ts-ts-ts-ts.”

Then there are our cats, whom he calls “Ca’!” which is like saying “cat” but without the “t” sound. This usually happens when he’s running up and down the garden chasing our cat, Harun, who manages to hide amidst our kangkung patch.

Also, after I give him a bath, I brush his teeth. He absolutely loves brushing his teeth. I suspect he’s actually addicted to the children’s toothpaste, but, what the heck, eh? Anyway, he gets very impatient when I’m drying him off as he can see his toothbrush on the bathroom counter.

“Tith-tith-tith-tith,” he repeats non-stop while pointing to his toothbrush.

“Yes, yes, we’ll brush your teeth once you’re dry,” I tell him as I rush to dry him off.

“TITH-TITH-TITH-TITH!!”

“Ok, we’re almost there. It would help if you stopped squirming.” Trying to reason with a 13 month old and it usually doesn’t work.

So eventually I manage to brush all 6 of his teeth and he has a very serious expression on his face while tasting his toothpaste. One would think he was a wine taster.

“Mmmm… this toothpaste, it starts off on a soft floral top note which soon settles down to a woody base. Oral-B, vintage 2005? No, no ... make that 2006.” Too bad he doesn’t know how to spit it out just yet.

Oh yes, "Ca!" could also mean car. There’s a Little Tikes toy car at my parents house which the boys just love to sit and “drive” around in. It dates back to, oh, when their 9-year old cousin, Cuz, was a wee toddler. So that would make the ‘coupe’ about 8 years old. Anyway, Abang can "drive" himself quite well, backwards and forwards whereas Adik seems to only go backwards. Mater would be so proud of him!

I’m looking forward to hearing him speak like his Abang. Last weekend, during the party (see "Party On!"), I piled my plate full of food and tried to sneak off and eat with the adults. It was not to be, as Abang saw me and just as I was about to sit down, he said, “Mummy, would you like to eat inside with me?”

I mean, honestly, how can you say no to that?

Party On!

So we had yet another birthday party! This time we had it at our house and it was the second birthday party for both birthday boys. My parents missed Adik’s birthday party at McDonald’s and also the birthday party for his 9-year old cousin, "Cuz”, early this month. So they requested a small-ish, “for family only” party at our house and we agreed.

I decided to make this a little bit different. Firstly, I made the bags for the party packs. I wasn’t too sure initially how to make it, but by trial and error I managed to make a simple one of decent size to fit all the goodies to go inside it. From the time we decided to do it, I had about 4 weeks so plenty of time for me to make these things. 2 here, 3 there - in no time they were all done.

Secondly, I was so appalled that “Happy Birthday” banners sold at shops and hypermarkets went for at least RM10 that I thought “Peh! I’ll just make my own.” Of course it’s not as fancy or colourful, but chances are, it’s going to be thrown out after the party anyway.

On the day itself, I got to work blowing up the balloons and tying them everywhere I could think of. On the walls, on the lights, at the dining area, on the garage walls, on the front door. It was fun, up until the balloons kept popping and I had a tough time replenishing the popped balloons. My fingers were starting to smell like balloon.

Finally, what made this different was a Painting Corner I set up in the garage. The children used our old t-shirts to use over their nice party clothes to avoid any paint splashes. Good thing, too, because some of the old t-shirts themselves looked like works of art! You’d think they actually intended to paint on the t-shirts.. (Note to self: Next time, buy more drawing block.) I also need to teach Abang to use the palette. He prefers to just squeeze the entire bottle of paint onto his paper and swish it around with the paintbrush. Good thing I put 2 layers of newspapers on the makeshift painting table, i.e. coffee table, so it wasn't damaged.

The best part of the party, I thought, was the Leaning Tower of Cupcakes. Oh, yummy! Something different from your usual birthday cake, yet very delicious. Most of the children had trouble finishing their second cupcake, while we adults stood around the table pondering over our next one - second for some, third for others (you know who you are!).

“Want to share another one?”

“No, let’s just have one each.”

“But I may not be able to finish it.”

“I’m sure we will.”

And it was true!

All in all, judging by the Sweat-O-Meter that I secretly installed on each child’s head, I think we can safely say they all had fun. (The Sweat-O-Meter measures amount of fun that was had based on plastered down hair caused by sweat. You can’t cheat, either, by using water because it’s a smart machine that can distinguish between water and sweat.)

It’s just a shame that at the end of the party, Cuz sprained his foot, while, I suspect, jumping onto the bean bag. Hmm. Still, it was serious enough to warrant a doctor’s visit. I was told Cuz was hoping to be prescribed a wheelchair, but he had to make do with a bandage instead.

Feel better soon, Cuz!

Managing Expectations

Anybody who is a consultant, or was one, or married to one, or has worked with one, would understand the importance of managing expectations. It’s always good to get others slowly used to a new idea, especially if it’s something that they may not like.

We like that concept a lot and use it at home too. For example, if Abang is nicely playing at my mother-in-law’s house and we need to go soon, we tell him that we’ll be going in about 10 minutes. (Yes, it takes us about that long to get everybody packed up and into the car.) Then 5 minutes later, we give him a 5 minute time check. That way it’s not a total surprise to him when we get him into the car and say goodbye to everyone.

The concept is a bit lost on Adik, though. But then he’s only 13months old, so it will probably take another year or so before he gets it. Right now, he’s the one managing our expectations. Can’t get what I want? I shall arch my back and scream! You want to try and carry me? Hah! I’ll lift up my arms so you have no grip!

I guess Adik’s definition of managing expectations is more like “When I want something, I expect to get it." Otherwise, I shall flail my arms and throw the remote control to the floor!

Oh well, he’ll soon learn.

Abang, too, has learnt to manage our expectations. This past weekend he has stuck to my father like glue. My parents are here for the weekend and Abang has had a ball of a time, staying at their house since I picked him up from kindergarten on Friday. So he wanted to have a sleep over at his Atok’s house on Friday night.

“Dad, I want to sleep at Atok’s house tonight,” was his opening line when his Daddy came home from work on Friday evening.

“Ok.”

10 minutes later, he reminded me about it. “Mom, tonight I sleep at Atok’s house, you know.”

“Ok Abang. Do you have your overnight bag ready?”

Later, we went out for dinner with my parents and when we were all done and ready to go home, everybody saying goodbye to each other, Abang said, “Ok bye Daddy! I’m sleeping at Atok’s house tonight! See you tomorrow!”

And, just in case Mummy didn’t hear it, “Bye Mom. Abang big boy already, I can sleep at Atok’s house. I see you tomorrow, ok? ”

Yup, I think he managed our expectations quite well on that issue.

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Roti man
Drive by my house
As fast as you can
Squish it, and toss it and mark it with B
Throw it over the gate for baby and me!

(Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme “Pat-a-Cake, Pat-a-Cake”)

Our Uncle Roti is quite the grumpy old fellow. When we first started buying bread from him a few years ago, he barely looked at us. Only after awhile did he start to grunt to acknowledge our existence.

The grumpiness didn’t really bother us – some people are just like that – but we did wonder how he could make a decent living riding around the neighbourhood at top speed. I mean, if you heard the toot-tooting of his horn but you weren’t already outside, say, in the garden, then forget it. You’d just waste your breath shouting, “RO-,” and then zoom, there goes Valentino Rossi with bread hanging off his motorbike, “-ti.” And Mr Rossi is already at the end of the road by then.

Later we noticed he had an understudy following him around on a motorbike. We liked this new guy. For starters, he actually smiled and even talked to Abang who was about a year old by then. But more importantly, he would drive slowly around the neighbourhood allowing more people to buy his bread.

He was only around for a few months and we were quite sorry to see him leave when Speedy Gonzales came back from his holiday. The holiday must have done him some good, though, because he became much friendlier towards Abang.

The first time he actually talked to Abang came as a surprise to us, most of all Abang. I had paid him for the bread and reached out to take it but he refused to give it to me. “Tak boleh, tak boleh,” he kept gesturing ‘no’ towards me, “Bagi boy. Ha, boy ambik, boy ambik.” Poor Abang actually clung on to me even tighter wondering why this grumpy old man was heading towards him shoving a loaf of bread in his face. Eventually he took it and I prompted Abang to say “thank you” which he did.

Ever since then, whenever I bought bread from him and was by myself, Uncle Roti would ask after Abang. Poor man probably misses his grandchildren. He would even occasionally treat Abang to some biscuits or snacks, which is awfully generous of him.

The routine now is for Abang to pay Uncle Roti who would then give the bread to Adik instead.

Uncle Roti’s latest show of affection to the boys was last weekend. After giving Adik the loaf of bread, he walked back to his motorbike but as he was about to ride off he noticed Adik was just staring at him (I guess 13 month old boys do that). So he got a little packet of chocolate wafer biscuits, walked back to our gate, opened it up and gave the boys one piece each.

“Ha, mari mari, ambik,” he said to the boys and then passed me the remainder of the biscuits. What a sweet old man. Still goes over the residential area speed limit, but he’s a lot less cranky now.

Does K.L. Stand For “Kita Lambat”?

My husband and I caught the musical ‘Broken Bridges’ on its opening night last month. It was a very powerful musical and great performance by the actors. The venue, KL Performing Arts Centre or KLPAC, had good facilities and the sound system was great.

It’s a shame, then, that it started 15 minutes late. The show was scheduled to start at 8:30pm but the lights only went out at 8:45pm. When I called the Box Office to book our tickets, I asked them how long the show would be and I was told “no more than 2 hours”. So we had fully expected to be done by 10:30pm, but it was 10:50pm before we got out of KLPAC.

This seems to be the norm in Malaysia, which is so unfortunate because we have such great facilities. Even the Dewan Filharmonik PETRONAS which houses the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra and other great musicians didn't start on time when we were there in April. And this is supposed to be a world class venue.

It was the same story when we watched Grease at the KL Convention Centre earlier this year, as well as STOMP at Istana Budaya last year. It seems that Malaysians just don’t care to be on time. And this is further perpetuated by institutions that constantly penalise those who arrive on time and reward latecomers instead. (Hmm, sounds a bit like our Sistem Membayar Saman Kereta. But I digress.)

About 2 years ago, we watched the musical Mamma Mia at Esplanade in Singapore. What a difference. The show was due to start at 2:30pm and we had been informed that once the show starts and the doors close, they will not open again until intermission. Oh, they stuck to their word.

Because we knew that it would start bang on time, we were quite panicky when our flight into Singapore was delayed. As soon as we got off the plane, we ran! We ran on to the MRT trains, in between stations and finally when we got to the station closest to the Esplanade, we ran for what felt like 100 miles all the way to the Box Office to collect our tickets, then to the coat check to keep our luggage and up to the entrance to our seats.

Panting away, we were so relieved the doors were still open. We found our seats, sat down, took a breather, and - literally - within half a minute the lights went dim and the doors closed. I looked at my watch: exactly 2:30pm. That was a close one! And they were true to their word when they said once the doors were closed, they stayed that way until intermission. That was great because then we weren’t distracted by latecomers finding their seats in the dark and getting in the way.

I suppose it helps when you have a reliable and efficient public transportation system. But really, let's not make excuses. If we wanted to we could still be punctual, right? (I admit I, too, could be more punctual.) I mean, if we can't rely on public transport, we just have to allocate more driving time. What would it take to make us Malaysians less tardy?

All I know is, the next time we want to watch anything at Esplanade, we’ll just fly down in our Alfa. More control over departure and arrival times.

Battle Scar Galactica

Before becoming a parent, I had expected it to be difficult. Initially you have the endless night feeds, diaper change at 2am, 3am, 3:30am, 4:30am, 5am and it feels as if it will never end. Then they reach the Terrible Twos and even though you’ve read all about it and know it’s coming, when it finally does arrive you start to wonder, “Whose child is that? Is that really mine?”

What I didn’t expect, however, was just how physical it would be. I was totally unprepared for all the cuts and scrapes, bumps and bruises. And that’s just on the parents.

Let’s see, I’ve been pinched, punched, scratched (unintentionally, of course and sometimes in the process of protecting the boys from hurting themselves) not to mention head butted. They’ve head butted me on the chin, head, cheekbone, mouth and nose. Adik has even head butted me on the chest. (Maybe he has ambitions of becoming the most outstanding player in a World Cup football match.) The latest head butting incident has left my lower lip slightly bruised. I kept thinking that my lipstick was being very stubborn and refusing to be wiped off and then I realized it’s right at the spot where Adik leaned back and smacked his head. Made my eyes water..

Anyway, sorry, back to the boys. Most of their war wounds are from doing normal, everyday things, like clobbering each other with their toys, tripping on their own feet while playing outside in the garden and going to the playground.

I remember one time when Abang was playing on the swing at the playground and somehow he slipped off the seat. He would have just fallen down on to the ground and maybe scraped his knees. Instead, because of the chain that goes across their body to, ironically, prevent them from falling, his body was slumped over the chain as I tried to bring the swing to a complete stop. The next day his ribs had this huge bruise and I felt so bad for him.

Then you have Adik, who loves to climb the wrong way up the slide, i.e. climb up the slide instead of up the stairs and down the slide, and then complains when he stumbles down rather clumsily. At least he lands on soft grass, unlike when he slips and falls backwards from the first step of the stairs and smacks the back of his head on the floor. Ouch!

It never ceases to amaze me just how hardy the human body is, especially children’s. They go through a lot of battering – and my boys are only 1 and 3 years old. When I see the war wounds on my nephews, I realize there is so much to look forward to here on Galactica.

I Just Had a Holiday, Now I Need Some Rest!

Perhaps we can call it a “sudden lapse of judgement”, when I thought it would be a good idea for all of us, i.e. our entire household, to go on a holiday. Since this includes 4 adults, a 3+year old boy and a 1 year old boy, a local holiday seemed more reasonable and we chose Langkawi.

Our maid had a shock when she saw our huge suitcase which could probably have fit both my sons in it. When she arrived from Indonesia to stay with us for 2 years, she had a smaller bag and fewer things than in our carry-on luggage!

We managed to rent an MPV but were a bit concerned that the boys would not have car seats. I believe the only place you can rent children’s car seats from is AAM but they don’t have an office in Langkawi. We did consider bringing the boys’ own car seats but didn’t want to risk it being broken by the baggage apes handling the check-in luggage. In the end we just did what most other Malaysian parents do – let the kids loose in the car!

The first day we arrived it rained quite heavily so it pretty much confined us to the room and the coffee house. No swimming, no playing on the beach, no walking around the resort – just a dash in and out of the coffee house. Dinner was room service. Not too daunting, we were all tired anyway.

The next day we drove out to Kuah town, checked out the malls which, when you are used to KL shopping, seemed very small and unexciting so decided to go look for some “local” food. You know, the Mak Minah’s something-or-other. We ended up at KFC. How original is that?

The skies brightened up and we hit the pool with the boys. Splish splash, we’re all taking a bath! Lots of fun for everyone. It started to get a bit hot so we headed back to the room. There was no way Abang was going to take his nap, not with all this excitement. So we decided to take in an early dinner at the hotel’s beach front restaurant. While waiting for the food, the boys took turns taking their parents for a walk on the beach. Nice, clean and with plenty to see and do.

Early night for everyone. And an early morning it was too, the next day. Those creaky wooden floors are just, well, extremely creaky! Even walking to the bathroom is enough to wake everyone up at 5:45am.

After breakfast we decided to just drive around. After lunch we drove north towards Tanjung Rhu. What a scenic route. We drove all the way to the end of the road and ended up at the Tanjung Rhu beach that had these tourist traps, I mean shops where tourists can buy souvenirs, as well as food stalls. We found Mak Minah! So we decided to come back that evening for a beachside dinner at a “local” food stall.

As expected, Abang fell asleep on the way back to the hotel. I guess after 2 full days of excitement - which generally encourages more play and less eating - his body just gave in to the tiredness. His Daddy, brave and strong soul that he is, decided to carry Abang from the lobby all the way up a steep slope to our chalet to make sure Abang continued his nap. Taking a shuttle van would definitely have woken him up.

By the time we headed out again for our local dinner, it was Adik’s turn to be sleepy. So we took turns eating and rocking Adik to sleep, while fending off hungry mosquitoes.

Another early night, please!

The next morning it was time to head back. And not a moment too soon – Mummy needed her CSI fix, Daddy had plenty of e-mail to go through, Abang and Adik just wanted the comforts of home.

Upon arrival at KLIA, the boys just hopped into their car seats like it was the most natural thing to do. Within 10 minutes both of them had passed out in the car. Mummy and Daddy were so ready to join them!

Now, can we get some rest?

A Tale of Two Cousins

I love having my nephews over. The older one is 9 years old, and the younger one is 7 ½. Yesterday we had my younger nephew over for a few hours.

Abang was quite excited to have “AJ” over to play with for a few hours after kindergarten. He, too, enjoys having them come to the house. They’re well behaved, very polite (asking permission, please, thank you, etc) and generally are great role models for my sons. Abang has been going through an independent I-Can-Do-It-Myself streak lately, so when AJ feeds himself his entire lunch, of course Abang wants to do that too. (Ignore the fact that Abang is shirtless at the dining table – I take my peace and quiet any way I can.)

While they usually play nicely together, it would be unrealistic to expect a completely smooth ride. At one point I had to referee a tug-of-war involving Thomas the Battery Operated Tank Engine. Then you have the “I Want Cartoon Network, No, I Want Playhouse Disney” singing competition – he who sings the loudest, wins.

After lunch and having had a lot to drink, I asked AJ if he needed to go to the toilet.

“Hey, AJ, do you need to go pee?”

“No can do! I’m going to watch the TV now.”

“Would you like some biscuits?”

“No can do!”

“How about some more water?”

“Um… No can do!”

Sometimes I unknowingly answer his question a little too prematurely and he will clasp his ears, saying, “No, no, one at a time please!”

Ah yes, the things children say – don’t you just love it?

When it was time to go home, I packed Abang in the car and told AJ to wait while I take Adik’s car seat out. It needed to be cleaned anyway, and was just taking up space since Adik was taking his nap at that time. It was a bit of a struggle for me to get the car seat out, which is ironic since the car has Isofix and is supposed to make it easier to install and un-install the car seat.

“Be careful,” AJ tells me.

"Oh thanks, AJ. You're so thoughtful." I smile at him.

“Just doing my job.” And he continues to coolly flick through his magazine.

What a cutie!

Hypermarket Blues

The strangest thing happened to me at the hypermarket last week.

After paying for my groceries, I noticed that the cashier gave me 2 cents less than what was stated on the receipt. So when I showed her my change, she gave me a surprised look and said, “Oh, you mean you want 2 cents?”

Ok. I know that 2 cents doesn’t buy you very much. In fact, it was even a bit embarrassing to ask for 2 cents. But the fact is, it’s MINE. So why did she assume that I wouldn’t want it?

What irked me even more was when she just whipped it out of nowhere (without opening the cash register) and gave it to me.

I’m sorry, did I miss a little box marked TIPS at the check out counter? Are we supposed to be paying more than what is on the receipt?

There were times in the past when I was given 2, maybe 3, cents less in change. When I asked the cashier for it, he/ she would say, “Oh, I’m out of 1 cent coins.”

“So give me 5 cents then.”

They just shrug and say they cannot, or they have closed the register or give assorted other excuses. Now, what I would like to know is, is this common practice? If it is, why is it common practice?

Furthermore, would the same hypermarket let me pay 3 cents less for my groceries if I was “out of 1 cent coins”?

So, feeling all outraged and shortchanged, I wrote to the store manager. I relayed to him the whole incident and the fact that it had happened several times before.

Before putting the stamp on the envelope, I did wonder whether I should even bother doing it.

Finally I decided that I should send the letter because if I don’t, the management may never know about it. And it they are in cahoots with the cashiers then they should know that customers are not going to take it lying down.

I’m glad I did send the letter because within about 10 days, I received a reply. The store manager thanked me for highlighting the matter to him and assured me that the cashiers will be re-trained on this matter so that incidents like this do not recur. As a token of appreciation, he included a RM20 voucher.

The voucher was totally unexpected. (Best ROI I ever got, if you consider the 30sen stamp an "investment"!) I sent the letter simply to let the management know what was going on so that something can be done about it. Many times we are unhappy with service given to us but we don’t do anything about it other than criticize in private to our family and friends. Why don’t we tell the people who can actually do something about it and make it better? We should!

More likely than not, the management is not even aware of these things and they (the good ones, at least) are very appreciative of customers who come forward with specific complaints.

So the next time you’re not happy about something, inform the right people. You’ll be glad you contributed to doing something right.

“Mummy, Are You Well Behaved?”

Our family is big on “positive reinforcement”. That is, we work hard at rewarding good behaviour either with praise, or an occasional treat or surprise outing, or extra one-on-one, quality time with mummy and/ or daddy. Of course we punish or reprimand when the situation warrants it, but as the books say, “Instead of always catching them being bad, try to catch them being ‘good’ and reinforce that.”

Anyway, to be honest, when Abang is well behaved he says and does the cutest things. For example, today he sat nicely in his highchair feeding himself some pasta for lunch followed by biscuits. (By the way, this is already cause for celebration since getting him to eat is such an issue.) He’s struggling somewhat, trying to use the fork to push pasta on to the spoon and in the process getting a lot of sauce on his tray table. So I asked him, “Abang, do you need help with your pasta?” And he replied, “No, I need help getting the tissue.”

Ah, I wish I had my camera on video mode to record that! I handed him the box of tissue paper and he proceeded to wipe the whole tray table until there’s hardly any trace of spillage.

Later, we went out to a mall to pick up my watch that had been repaired. It took longer than I expected because the back cover was loose and had to be tightened, then the shopkeeper was explaining to me what they had done to the watch, blah blah blah … Abang was starting to get a bit fidgety so I whipped out his little writing book and colour pencils and asked if he would like to do some writing. The Gods of Good Behaviour must have been smiling down on us because he then sat there quietly doing some writing and colouring!

He wanted to play at Toys R Us, I said “Sure!” And he absolutely enjoyed it and only fussed once when I said it was time to go. (I guess the Association of Toddlers would have been upset with him if he didn’t kick up at least a bit of fuss; they probably threatened to withdraw his membership.)

He wanted ice cream next, I said “No problem, let’s get some.” He insisted on getting 2 cups of ice cream, I said “Is that all?” Hah just kidding. I didn’t actually say that, but I agreed. At the rate he was going with his good behaviour, if he had asked for the whole freezer of ice cream I would probably have asked the cashier, “How much for the whole freezer?”

Anyway, he’s happily eating his ice cream and I asked to have a bite and he said no. I was shocked! Could this good streak be coming to an end?

“Why not, Abang?”

“Mummy you have your own ice cream.” And he dug into the plastic bag to get me the other cup (remember, he insisted on 2 cups?). Just as he was about to hand it to me, he stopped and with a drop-dead serious look on his face, he asked, “Mummy, are you well behaved?”

It was all I could do to stop myself from rolling on the floor, laughing. “Um, well,” I hesitated, with a thoughtful frown on my face, “I think so. Yes. Yes, I am well behaved.”

Now it’s his turn to frown and consider whether Mummy really has been well behaved. “Hmmm… Yes, you are well behaved, kan?”

And so, Mummy got to eat ice cream today. I guess modern day parenting includes parenting the parent as well!

Garden Dirt: The Lesser Known Vitamin

Our younger son, Adik, just loves playing in the garden. Sometimes he ‘helps’ to water the plants, other times he plays on the slide or runs up and down the garden kicking and throwing a ball with our cats following closely behind.

One day I was with him in the garden when he was going up and down the slide. It had just been raining that afternoon and the ground was a little soggy. So, it was inevitable that some dirt got onto the top of the slide.

There I was, just minding my own business, watching my 13-month old son climb up to the top of the slide. He paused for a second and in a split second (must have been when I blinked), a clump of dirt disappeared from the top of the slide.

Hmmm.

I didn’t see him push it away, nor kick it away. It didn’t look like he threw it away either. Definitely he didn't flick it off the slide (not that he knows how to flick anyway).

While in denial and trying to make up excuses, Adik turned around with a really gleeful look on his face and started chewing. Aiieeeeee!! Gross, Adik! Spit it out! Spit it out!

He thought I was playing a game with him. Although I don’t know what kind of game involves your mother being hysterical trying to pry your mouth open and digging yummy dirt out with her (equally dirty) finger.

He’s giggling away, avoiding my prying finger still chewing and the worst part is I can actually see what he’s chewing. Ugh.

Oh well. Maybe this is his way of getting fibre in his diet. I’ve always thought that children are great at self regulating their own food intake. (“Food” in the broad sense of the word, including but not limited to garden dirt.) Since he doesn’t like eating fruits perhaps this will help his, um, digestive system. Hey, maybe he’s on to something! Nutritionists and dieticians take note!

Having said that, I would have thought that all the paper, cardboard, playdoh and assorted other stationery items would make up for the lack of fruit intake.

I thought wrong.

P/S. On a more serious note, we are very watchful of Adik as his pincer grasp is really good and this makes it a serious choking hazard.

Animals Are NOT Behaviour Management Tools

My 65-year old auntie has a habit of using the 'scare tactic' on our children, and animals seem to be her scare tactic tool of choice.

“Don’t touch the cat! He’ll scratch you.”

“Don’t go there! The cicak will bite you, you know. They like to go behind the cupboards.”

This lizard thing got to our older son. He used to cry whenever he heard the “chk-chk-chk” sounds of the lizard. It didn’t occur to us at first that he was crying because he heard a lizard and already had negative associations with this harmless little creature. Obviously the scare tactic worked!

Then for a long time, he didn’t seem too bothered by lizards and we thought that he was over them.

Until last night. On our way up to the bathroom for his regular pre-bedtime ritual suddenly he let out this piercing scream and stopped dead in his tracks.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!! Cicak!!”

It was this tiny little baby lizard making its way up the wall, trying to escape its predators (i.e. us) and just get on with its life. I’m sure it was more scared of us than we were of it. Unfortunately, it’d been demonized as this fierce creature that bites little boys just because they go to certain areas of the house where they shouldn’t.

Another one is dogs. Don’t approach the dog, she says, he’ll bite you. Or, Don’t go near the dog, he’ll chase you until you fall down.

Aargh! While we don’t particularly want our children to get friendly with dogs and start petting them, there’s no reason to teach him that all dogs are absolute monsters that will bite.

Generally, we favour the matter-of-fact approach. "If you pull his tail and it hurts him, he will probably defend himself by scratching you." It also teaches them to respect the animal and not treat it like a toy.

So far, so good. Both our children are not scared of our cat, Harun, and love to play with him. In fact, Abang even comforted Harun when we had to take Harun to the vet.

"It's ok, Harun," he said, "you feel better, Dr Wong give you ubat."

It's very satisfying to see they are confident enough to play with Harun (but under adult supervision). They also love playing with their auntie's cat (called Rabbit, but that's a blog for another day). Occasionally when either cat or child gets a little too spirited, then play time is over.

And that's ok because each knows how to walk away from each other.

The Boy Who Wouldn’t Nap

Our family took a trip to Kuantan during the Merdeka holiday weekend. We wanted our 1-year old son to take his morning nap first so we set off to fetch my sister-in-law and mother-in-law at their house in Kepong at 11:00am. Lunch at noon, cleaned up, toilet break for 3-year old boy, packed up the car and we took off at 1:20pm.

Almost exactly on cue, our younger son, Adik, fell asleep within 10 minutes of leaving the house.

Ok – one down, one to go.

Our MPV bravely chugged up the Karak highway with a full load – 2 grandmothers (my auntie and my mother-in-law), 2 parents, 1 auntie, a pre-schooler, a toddler and a partridge in a pear tree. Oh, and luggage.

Half an hour passes and no sign of a “touchdown”. That’s our code word for Abang finally falling asleep.

One hour whizzes by and the plane steadfastly refuses to drop altitude. Forget radioing in to the control tower, this little guy was still cruising at 35,000 feet.

After one and a half hours on the road we started to consider just giving up. At least he wasn’t being annoying and whiny, but it seemed like such a “waste” of 3 hours on the road.

As if reading our minds, Adik woke up. So a quick stop to stretch our legs and break the monotony of the journey, then off we were again. Before you know it, we were in Kuantan town. Both boys were relatively cheery, snacking all the way (the way we packed food for the trip, you’d think Kuantan has no food or water!).

We followed signs to Teluk Cempedak, and Abang was happily pointing things out as he usually does in the car. Then we came to the sign that said “Teluk Cempedak 5km”. Just then, I spotted an RHB bank. For lack of anything else to show him, I exclaimed “Hey, Abang, look! An RHB Bank!”

Suddenly 3 pairs of ice-cold eyes whipped around and bore down at me with expressions that could have made holes through my head and out into the headrest. Those eyes also said, “Aiya!! Almost touchdown la!!”

5 kilometres. I say again, 5 KILOMETRES! We travelled over 250km and he chose the LAST 5 KILOMETRES to fall asleep. Sigh.

Now, most parents know that a nap suddenly cut short is worse than no nap at all. Such was our case. Still, a swim in the pool was all it took to brighten up little grumpy feet.

It was pretty much the same story on the journey back to KL, but at least this time Abang did us the courtesy of having a half hour (as opposed to a 5 minute) nap.

C'est la vie!