The Invisible Car

Sometimes I wonder if I drive an invisible car. It's actually a rather large MPV and even though it's grey and could be mistaken for part of the road, I still wonder how come many other road users seem to not see me.

Countless times I have had other cars - big and small - driven by clueless people - men and women - that suddenly felt the need to change lanes right in front of me, making sure that they almost scrape my car but somehow, through the alignment of the stars and planets at that very moment, don't.

Then when I start muttering to myself, Abang will very helpfully chime, "He cut line!!"

Yes, dear Abang, you will soon learn that things that go on at kindergarten also happen in the adult world. You'd think that after years of schooling that we'd get to grips with queueing up, minding our Ps and Qs, being polite and all that other mumbo-jumbo parents try to teach their children but don't do it themselves, and evidently it's slipping from our grasp.

If I continue to mutter and grumble - obviously without any profanity, there are children around! - then Adik will ask, "Why, Mummy? Why?"

"Oh, nothing, Adik. Just some people out there who don't know how to drive. Don't worry, we'll all get used to it."

Sad but true!

The Best Job in the World

I love being a full time mom. It's great to be able to see first hand how the children's personalities develop, to be around for their firsts - first time they smiled, first time they crawled, first time they staggered around the living room, first time they said "Mummy" and "Daddy". Sounds so cliche, but it's true!

I remember the first time Abang could sit up on his own - it was so exciting! He looked as surprised as I was and a bit apprehensive that he would topple over (just as I was). After a few seconds, he did. So I put him into the sitting position again to see if it was a fluke, but then he managed to stay up again, this time for a bit longer. He was about five months old and I thought that was just so cool.

It's also nice to be there for them when they're feeling a little down. Once, Adik scraped his knees pretty badly so Mummy helped to clean it up, put some medication on it and topped it up with some Winnie-the-Pooh bandages. He felt much better after that and I was so happy to be able to fix his "owweee".

Then there's Abang and Adik's first cuddle we caught on film - many more after this one!

I'm also glad to be at home when they're not well to make sure they're not over- or under-medicated. Given the opportunity, my auntie would definitely over-medicate while our maid would probably under-medicate. Middle-of-the-Road Mummy to the rescue!

How about when Adik crawled for the first time? He pushed himself up on all fours, then pretty much swayed forward, backward, forward, backward, and all the while we encouraged him to lift his leg to propel himself forward. He did, but his hands didn't move so he landed on his face! He didn't cry, but was more shocked, probably wondering who's the meanie who shoved him. It didn't take long for him to get the hang of crawling and before we could say, "Look, Adik can crawl!" he was scooting about all over the house.

There's a certain satisfaction to doing all these things with the boys and to be there when they reach those milestones, knowing that I play a pretty big role in their lives.

Fast forward to the future, I have much to look forward to - homework, school bullies, teenage angst, sibling rivalry ... No, I still wouldn't change jobs!

The Return of The Bibster

Bibik (a.k.a. The Bibster) is back! She took the express bus back to Puduraya during which she called me to say she's on the way back. So I gave her directions on how to take the Star LRT to Sri Petaling and then she took a taxi to our house.

It was an interesting two days without her around. I found myself hardly feeling stressed which was rather fascinating. Sure, I was very tired, but not stressed. I think it has to do with always expecting this day to come and being prepared for it - when suddenly, out of the blue, she leaves (for whatever reason) and I have to do the bulk of the housework.

I say bulk because my auntie is around and she does a lot of the cooking which, most of you will know, I don't particularly care for. So that's a load off my hands. But even excluding the house cleaning (if The Bibster were away longer I'd get our ex-cleaner to come in once a week) there's still a fair number of things to do.

Picking up toys, clearing up after a meal, washing dishes, putting laundry in, picking up more toys, hanging laundry out, bringing laundry in, re-picking up the first batch of toys already put away, folding and putting laundry away, general tidying up and then having a third batch of toys ready for Mummy to pick up.

Oh yes, and watching the boys.

And clearing the kitty litter. And feeding the cats.

And throwing out the rubbish.

And watering the plants, although that comes under the category of Playing Outside With The Boys. No wonder I'm still yawning until today!

Abang and Adik were not too bad, all things considered. I made sure they helped out whenever possible, e.g. putting their cups and water bottles in the sink (Adik can barely reach, but it's the effort that counts!), helping to put the clothe pegs on the hangers, "sweeping" the garage floors, loading up the washing machine. All their, um, "help", made the task take about three times longer than if I were to do it myself, but what the heck eh. Better that they learn to be useful!

Luckily for me, Adik's pretty good with his toilet training. Nowadays, there are fewer peeing accidents for me to clean up after. I'd tell you about the time he ran towards the bathroom yelling, "YAK! YAK!" (short for "berak") and clutching his butt, but some of you may be eating while reading this.

So now The Bibster's back and normality returns to our house. But it's nice to know we did just fine without her.

The Tragic Maid Story

(It's up to you to decide whether it's the story or the maid that's tragic.)

This morning was a regular morning - Abang was at kindergarten, Adik was playing and watching TV while Mummy did some work at the dining table to supervise Adik. Bibik, our maid, was washing her clothes in the bathroom when her phone rang.

It went something like this.

"Hello.... Ya..." Very normal sounding. And then, "HAH?!?!?! APA?!?!?!"

That's when my ears perked up. Oh-oh. This doesn't sound good.

".... MINUM RACUN...?!?!" (blah blah blah DRANK POISON?!?!)

I don't eavesdrop very well, especially when it's in Bahasa Indonesia, but I did manage to pick up some key phrases. At this point, I was hoping the caller wasn't referring to her husband.

Then a lot of "WHY? WHY? DOESN'T HE LOVE HIS CHILDREN? WHY?"

Since I was facing my computer at the time, I Google Talk-ed to Daddy, "Oh-oh. Maid got crisis."

Eventually she hung up and then, visibly upset, came to tell me that her husband had attempted suicide. He's been working in Muar for the past couple of months and had asked her to go visit him. We agreed to give her some time off in July, when Daddy and I will be away and the boys at Atok's house.

Apparently that's too far away for him.

According to Bibik, when he first told her he's planning to come over and work in Malaysia, she wasn't too happy. That's because he wanted her to stay with him to cook and wash his clothes for him (you're allowed to roll your eyes). She didn't want to, she wanted to continue working with us. "I don't want to live in a jungle," she told me because her husband got a job in a plantation.

After he had arrived, I *ahem* accidentally read an sms on her phone (really, it wasn't intentional, the sms arrived when I was helping her with her pre-paid card which she said was wonky). I didn't know who it was from, but it basically said "Are you maaaaaad at meeeee? Why are you maaaaad at meeeee? Why aren't you replying my sms?"

My first thought was "Aiyo so whiny". But I know our maid, and she's very thrifty with her money. She only uses the money that Nenek gives her for cleaning her house once a week to buy her pre-paid cards. When those credits run out, she'll just wait until the next time she cleans Nenek's house and use that money to top up her credits. Rarely does she ask me for her salary to buy pre-paid cards; I think probably fewer than five times, total.

So The Husband gets all insecure wondering why his wife isn't replying his sms. And he calls her very often because her phone will ring incessantly, like 4-5 missed calls. When she finally answers, I hear her explaining in a rather exasperated way that she was either cooking, or cleaning, or watching the children, you know, doing the stuff she's paid to do!

Yesterday she got a similar whiny sms but with the added "If you are maaaaad at meeee then maybe it's better that I drink some poison and just die." I think she did reply that sms to reassure him that she's NOT mad at him (which is quite remarkable, really).

LO and BEHOLD, he did it anyway. And that's when she got the dreadful call this morning.

I told Daddy, "The Husband is such an idiot."

Daddy replied, "Most men are."

Of course it could be part of some elaborate scam. But when I dropped her at Puduraya this morning, she only had a small bag, RM100 cash which I gave her and a return bus ticket. (I know the bus timetable and fares because I'd been researching for her soon-to-be-not-happening weekend to visit you-know-who.) And all her salary is with me, as she requested at the beginning of the contract.

I'm wondering what the scam entails, if it is one, which would be tragic for me. If it's not a scam, then tragic for her.

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers Day to all Daddies out there!

This time our Dad's day lunch was a nice tim sum lunch at the Marriott IOI Putrajaya. A few weeks ago, during our trip to Putrajaya during the school holidays, Atok mentioned that we had not had time sum in a long time. So we went ahead and organised the lunch, booked a table and had a great meal.

Here's part of our collection of Daddy-with-Abang-and-Adik pictures:

Daddy helping Adik with the bicycle while Abang looks on.

Clowning around at IKEA.

Daddy chilling out with Adik watching The Man Channel (that would be Ch78!)

Abang being manja with Daddy!

Breakfast together (I must have just cut Abang's hair).

After a tiring birthday party...

Cool dudes.

Hard to believe Adik was that small!

Away for Training: Back Soon

Years ago, if someone mentioned "training", immediately I think nice hotel, unlimited (relatively) good food and not having to go to the office.

How times have changed. Now, mention training and I think "toilet training" - plenty of rags, mops, dettol and spare toddler underwear.

I started Adik on toilet training about a month or two ago, roughly the same age Abang was when I started toilet training him. In the beginning, as expected he would just suddenly pee on the floor/ carpet/ bed/ chair (delete where applicable) without any warning whatsoever. Sometimes preventive measures, i.e. just taking him to the loo and trying to get him to pee, actually backfired because he would feel 'pressured' and get very annoyed.

So I moved on to asking him if he needed to go and if he said "no" then I'd leave it at that. This was the more risky method, obviously, because sometimes his "no" doesn't mean "I don't need to go" but rather "I don't want to go". More rags, mops, dettol and spare toddler underwear.

More recently though, Adik has been more cooperative about going to pee if I notice that he needs to pee (constant vigilance on my part), sometimes up to 3-4 times within an hour! There would still be accidents but fewer of them. Then, last week, I tried letting him go TOTALLY commando - as in just a shirt and nothing else - whenever he was playing in my room. Since the master bathroom door is always open, it makes it easier for him to go pee.

And he would! He'd be nicely playing when suddenly he would stop and run to the shower stall and pee by himself. I definitely have to go in after him, otherwise he will start swishing his pee on the floor with his hands. Eeewww. But never mind, one step at a time.

So far, no accidents in my room, hooray! And he's even managed to do the same when he's playing downstairs. I've decided to leave the safety gate open so that he can do his "play, stop, run, pee" routine downstairs.

I'm happy to report today was a no-diaper day (partly due to not napping) and only one peeing accident. Which, I should add, was when then the boys were supervised by the maid - not me -because I went for a shower. Here's to more diaper- and accident-free days!

Trouble on the Horizon?

As expected, Abang thoroughly enjoyed the school holidays - sleepovers, trips here and there, swimming... just non-stop fun! Still, at one point he told Daddy that he misses his friends at school. How typical: when school term is in, they can't wait for the holidays, when it's school holidays, they miss their friends and can't wait to go back.

I guess after getting used to not having to go to kindergarten, the first day of school saw Abang whimpering, "I don't want to go class. I want to stay home." It seemed like a half-hearted attempt at trying to weasel out of going to school and the adults managed to talk/ distract him out of it.

He had a rather prolonged goodbye with Daddy at kindergarten, obviously reluctant to restart class, but eventually he went in. Mummy fetched him at noon without any obvious signs of distress.

How different Tuesday was! First breakfast, then a shower and his uniform was donned on him. Suddenly all hell broke loose. He started crying and crying, insisting that he didn't want to go to kindergarten. Then he made his way under the dining table and threw a massive tantrum there. There was no way I could force the issue, but I knew also that I couldn't reward him for doing that. Since I had planned to go out with Adik while he was at school, I had to make it very clear to him that he couldn't join us.

Plus, he kept saying that he wasn't well and just wanted to baring-baring at home until school lets out.

When Daddy came home, he asked, "So did Abang go to school?"

I said, "No."

"Wow. So how are you going to handle it tomorrow?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'm just taking it one day at a time."

It turns out, the next day, Abang was bright as day, all happy and active and without one iota of fuss when he wore his uniform. He even declared that he wanted "Daddy to send". He got his wish, but when I fetched him, as he was trying to get his shoes he started crying a rather sad cry (as opposed to an angry cry).

Trouble looms ahead ...

The Meaning of Adorable

Gorging on an ice cream each at Nenek's house

Adik at a recent birthday party at McDonalds

Abang showing his loving nature

Mummy feeling suicidal taking Abang and Adik to 1 Utama Pizza Hut by herself :)

Abang being a drama king and Adik trying to pacify him

Cuz and Abang at Sunway Lagoon recently

Adik playing... um ... with Mummy's hairband

Maybe we'll quit here.

Conversations for the Curious

I love engaging in conversation with Abang. He comes up with the most imaginative things to say.


Just the other day we were making up a story about a picture on my t-shirt. The picture showed 2 people sitting on an elephant and another 3 people walking alongside it. He pointed to the ones sitting on the elephant and identified, "That's Daddy's Daddy and that's Mummy's Daddy."

"Ok," I said, "and who are those walking?"

"That one is Daddy, the middle one is me and then the other one is Adik," he told me very decisively, "so ... that means there are 2 men and 3 boys."

"Eh? Really? Atok, Atok Bah and Daddy are men, right? So that's 3 men. Then you and Adik are boys, so that's 2 boys. So it should be 3 men and 2 boys, I think."

Abang thought about this for a long time, he scrunched up his face, wondering how to contradict me. Finally, he said, "It's ok, Mummy. It's just a story."


Sometimes he says things that make absolutely no sense but it's still so nice to listen to! He was telling me about Wan's house in the kampung, how there are many sawah padi there and other stuff.

"Wan's house at kampung has so many sawah padi, you know, Mummy? And then the monkeys all ate the rambutan at Wan's house. Kesian Wan, kan, no more rambutan to eat. Because they like to go to England, Malaysia, Chinese schools..."

Go figure!

The Intruders

We had a rather scary experience this morning.

Apparently, one of the security guards intercepted a group of 4 intruders while they were jumping over our gate leaving the compound of our house. I think there was some sort of confrontation and the intruders told the security guard to "mind his own business". Then at some point they smashed the guard's face in.

Our community association representative rang our doorbell at 7am to tell us what happened and asked if everything was ok, did they take or break anything, etc. Admittedly, I'm a little fuzzy about the incident because I couldn't totally understand him. I can't understand any non-standard Malay or non-Negeri Sembilan dialect so I only caught the gist of what he was telling us.

What struck me as a little odd was that the guard intercepted them at around 6am which seems a bit late in the night to be attempting a break-in. But as Daddy said, maybe our house was the last house to be struck by them and they were going to be "done for the night". Perhaps they know it's the school holidays and a lot of people are away and decided to take their chance even at 6am.

Anyway, I'll have to go and check on the security guard, make sure he is alright.

Busy Little Bees

Well, the boys have been kept mighty busy these school holidays! Last week, we made a trip to Aquaria with my sister, Cuz and AJ.

They have some new attractions since we were last there (which was when it first opened, when Adik was a newborn), the most fascinating being the touch pools at the start of the exhibition. Here, you can stick your hand in the pool and handle the animals, even feed them. Cuz was definitely game for that! Abang, however, was too scared to put his hand in the pool but I'm guessing it's just a matter of time before he does what Cuz does. After all, up until very recently he remembers how scared he was of the big tank when we went the first time and absolutely refused any invitation to go again to Aquaria.

After that we got some lunch followed by some ice cream. Cuz and Abang were relegated to the entrance of Marks & Spencer because the adults wanted to go check out anything new in the store but no food allowed. So my sister and I took shifts watching the boys who must have looked quite pitiful to the people walking past them. Especially with Cuz's arm in a sling.

The next day Abang got a sleepover treat at Atok's house. He usually has a lot of fun there just by virtue of it being a different place from home. Then Wednesday was our regular Kepong Run to Nenek's house which saw a trip to Iknao Power Centre as well.

Thursday morning I braved it and took the boys swimming. Wan came along, which helped greatly, especially after the swim to help dress the boys and also at lunch. The swim got them all hungry so feeding them wasn't as much of a challenge. However, getting them to sit still and not go under the table (ours and other patrons') was. At one point I was so desperate to get Adik to just sit quietly in his highchair that I let him lick tomato sauce off his plate! As long as I wasn't done with my lunch, he could have as much tomato sauce as he wanted. Actually, my plan was two-prong: to buy time to finish my lunch and to get him so sick of it. I think I only managed to achieve the first part of the plan.

Late Friday morning we took Atok and Cikgai for a trip to Putrajaya with us. Abang wanted to sembahyang Jumaat at the Putrajaya mosque there and Atok was only too happy to oblige. It was a good experience, save for the fact that the King apparently prayed there too, and there were prayers held for a top judge who passed away, so it was next to impossible to drive to the front of the mosque. Atok and Abang could only be dropped off rather far away and walk in.

Over the weekend, Adik enjoyed Mummy and Daddy time to himself while Abang was in Kepong entertaining Ant J and Nenek. Ant J let Abang do some arts and crafts with a couple of frames she had and he dubbed them "surprise for Mummy and Daddy". Naturally, the pink bordered frame is for Mummy while the blue/silver bordered frame is for Daddy.

In between all the activities, we have general clowning around, a trip to Tesco, some game playing and the usual outdoor play.

I'm braving myself for another swim with the boys! They really had fun the last time, and so did I. Wish me luck.

News Update

Koo-Ching is back! After being gone for about 24 hours, we found her at a neighbour's patio, hidden behind some shrubs and resting nicely on an old cushion (I'm guessing the neighbours won't be using it anymore).

Her unmistakable meow caught our attention and we managed to coax her out through the fence. We brought her back home, gave her a bowl of food, a thorough bath and her medication. Poor little thing was so hungry that she practically growled as she ate.

Since then she's been out and about, exploring away but always comes back. Today she was away from the house a bit longer most likely because we had the gardener around to cut the grass and it freaked her out. But she later made her way home.

She's nicely gaining weight - in fact, she's getting rather plump - and her right eye certainly looks much better than when we first found her. However, her left eye still looks as bad as ever. We're hoping that it's just taking a bit longer to get better because her immune system is so weak since her body was so undernourished to begin with.

The boys are happily playing with her, although Harun and Thomas still stay away from her. We figured they can sniff out a sick cat and instinctively distance themselves so they don't get sick too. Actually, the cats' reaction to Koo-Ching is rather interesting. Although Harun won't have anything to do with her, he's not openly hostile and behaves in pretty much the same way he normally does. Thomas, on the other hand, not only makes known his disapproval of her, he also seems to seek more attention from us.

Whatever it is, I'm sure we'll reach a Cat Equilibrium soon. Thomas will eventually get used to having Koo-Ching around.